Short jokes
Chi
What part of "Another One Bites the Dust" do you sing to a disabled person to make fun of them? "I'm standing on my own two feet."
Were you bought on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen.
What do you call Mexicans running down a hill?
Sandstorm.
What do you get when you stuff some cows into a food container?
A can o' bull.
How do you spell racecar backwards?
racecar
How do you spell racecar sideways?
Paul Walker's death.
What is the difference between Hilary Duff and a computer? You only have to punch information into a computer once.
Deaf people suck lots of dicks.
They can't hear!
I wanna go to Antarctica, but then I got cold feet.
What do autistics, women, and chinks have in common? They can't fuckin' drive.
Who's Paul Walker's close friend?
Tree.
What do you call a disabled Arab?
Artoo-Detoo (R2-D2).
I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated.
Two sticks only make a fire.
The way to stop school shootings is to give children an RPG.
Did you hear he died of a virus? A computer virus.
If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?
Me: Do you like smash?
Friend: Smash Rolls?
Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS!
Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)
What happens to Mary Poppins when the wind dies down?
*Mary Poppins seen falling in background*
Sex is like pizza.
When it’s hot, it’s great.
When it’s cold, it’s still pretty good.