Short jokes
Why don’t Asians get stung by bees?
Because they are always expected to get “A’s.”
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
*True story*
I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"
When you're born on 4/20/69...
Why are you wearing a cap? Oh, I know, to cover your hairline!
Q: How do you know if a gang of Chinese people robbed your house?
A: All the rice is gone.
Hi! Welcome to Papa John's abortion clinic, where yesterday's meat is today's treat. How may I be of service?
Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy?
But he really saved the History Channel.
Who hates going to a pizza party?
A weirdough.
She responds: “See that man over there with no arms? Tell him to clap.”
The kid replies: “But, Mom, I’m blind!”
Mom: “Exactly.”
Did you hear about the TikTok post that offended disabled people? Some didn't reply because the comment section was disabled.
Why can't gays drive faster than 68 mph?
Because at 69 they blow a rod.
Why did Paul Walker regret turning in his test?
Because his grade went from 99 to 0 in less than a second.
"WASSUP GIRLS IF I FIND YOU I'LL GLADLY FUCK YOU;]"
I walked into a supermarket to get some ordinary clothes for the wife. Then I realized I was in a rape museum.
Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn’t all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.
I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.
It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.
Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!
My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."
Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.
I was trying to make homemade baby powder until I realized it isn't made from babies, oops wrong ingredient... smh