Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.
A young boy enters a barber shop, and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied:
"Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!"
What were the terrorist of 9/11 thinking?
We can’t go over it, we can’t go under it, we'll have to go through it.
I bet China can be the best baseball team. They took out the entire world with just a bat.
This chess game against America and England is getting interesting. First, America lost both of its towers, but now England has lost its queen.
Why doesn’t the US wanna play chess with the UK?
The US is already down 2 towers and the UK has a unkillable queen.
What did me an my uncle call hide and seek? Naked and afraid
A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast.
I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."
She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.
After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The ...bastard.....used .....coins"
What were the terrorists on 9/11 thinking?
"We can't go over it." "Can't go under it." "We have to go through it!"
What is the difference between the rook and the bishop? The rook goes straight, while the bishop moves diagonally.
How did the Shaggy defense become successful for JD Vance?
He was not banging on the sofa. Rather, he was banging the sofa!
Why are Americans so bad at chess?
Because they lost two towers.
Why are the Americans good at rubix cubes? Because they have a long history of separating colours.
Why is USA so bad at chess
Because they already lost two towers
What do women and chess have in common? When you sacrifice the females and replace them, you are more likely to win
When a clock goes forward, it's tic-tac, but when Rommel goes backwards, its tactic!
why dose Michael Jackson have such a hard time playing chess? he cant choose between black or white.
Why is America bad at chess? We already lost two towers.
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram." She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable." Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"
What do you call a retreat in war? A back up plan
