Strategy jokes
Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.
What were the terrorist of 9/11 thinking?
We can’t go over it, we can’t go under it, we'll have to go through it.
A young boy enters a barber shop, and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied:
"Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!"
I bet China can be the best baseball team. They took out the entire world with just a bat.
This chess game against America and England is getting interesting. First, America lost both of its towers, but now England has lost its queen.
Who laughs last, laughs best.
What were the terrorists on 9/11 thinking?
"We can't go over it." "Can't go under it." "We have to go through it!"
What did me and my uncle call hide and seek? Naked and afraid.
A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast."
"I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."
She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.
After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The... bastard.....used.....coins."
Why doesn’t the US want to play chess with the UK?
The US is already down 2 towers, and the UK has an unkillable queen.
How did the Shaggy defense become successful for JD Vance?
He was not banging on the sofa. Rather, he was banging the sofa!
What is the difference between the rook and the bishop? The rook goes straight, while the bishop moves diagonally.
Why are Americans so bad at chess?
Because they lost two towers.
Why does Michael Jackson have such a hard time playing chess?
He can't choose between black or white.
Why are the Americans good at Rubik's cubes? Because they have a long history of separating colors.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash of Clans? Because they already lost two towers.
Why is the USA so bad at chess?
Because they already lost two towers.
What do women and chess have in common? When you sacrifice the females and replace them, you are more likely to win.
When a clock goes forward, it's tic-tac, but when Rommel goes backwards, it's tactic!
Do you want to know the most racist game? Chess. You wanna know why? Because they never let black go first. I wonder why... lmao.
Why is America bad at chess? We already lost two towers.