Strategy jokes
The first time you have to do a full body workout in chess.
9/11 was a round of Clash of Clans; they knocked down 2 towers, not 3.
When you are losing at Tetris, I guess the odds are STACKED against you.
I heard P. Diddy got a job as a defensive coordinator.
He’s used to penetrating aggressively.
Chess board White: right Black: left Yellow: invading
"You cannot win a war without a war."
-Sun Tzu, *The Art Of War*
Your mum is like a Golden Knight. She will still attack my tower with troops in the way, like Jude Porter.
Why did the impostor vent... to get to the other side?
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
I was playing chess with my friend and he said, “Let’s make this interesting.” So I took away his towers, and he took away my queen.
Hey Gwen come on let's chat! We can forget about that dumb bitch "prince" and focus on us!
What war game can the French win? None, they are always losing.
War isn't about who's right. It's about who's left.
Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.
Students: Hiding under desk.
Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!
Why are Americans so bad at Clash of Clans? Because they already lost two towers.
I feel bad for all American Clash Royale players.
They always start with two towers downed.
Why are the UK and the USA bad at playing chess?
Because they lost 2 towers and their queen.
When I'm peeing in a toilet I don't pee directly into the water. I pee on the curved part of the bowl beside the water because I figure it splashes less, but when you're peeing that close to the edge, the sporadic tiny offshoots of pee become a greater threat.
I'm not sure if the accumulation of these offshoots is greater than the potential splashback from peeing mid-bowl. It's possible that I'm thinking about this too much, but it's also possible that I'm not thinking about this enough.
Why can’t Americans play chess?
They lost 2 towers.
Terrorist: We can go over it, we can’t go under it, let’s go through it.