Short jokes
What do a fat woman and bricks have in common? They both get laid by Mexicans.
If you run next to a car, you get tired, but if you run behind it, you get exhausted.
I'll be here all week... sadly enough for you.
I joined an emo class today. The first lesson I learned was slice and dice and let it flow.
Did you know that the F in orphan means family?
There's no F in orphan?
Exactly.
What was the first sport played on the moon?
Capture the flag.
What did the pencil say to the sharpener? Please grind me!
Every time someone calls me fat, I get so depressed I cut myself... a piece of cake.
Pregnant teen: I'm pregnant, my mum's gonna kill me.
Unborn baby: My mum's gonna kill me.
What’s the difference between broccoli and little girls?
I don’t like the taste of broccoli.
Why do we never make adult jokes in front of orphans?
Because the joke needs parental guidance.
Don't do suicide, that shit kills.
Stop hating on pedophiles. At least they're good babysitters.
I donated a computer to the orphanage...
It didn’t have a motherboard.
Me: I have depression.
Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!
Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.
big booty latinas.
Q: How do you blind a woman?
A: You put a windshield in front of her.
Girl: Hey.
Orphan: Hi.
Girl: Wanna be friends?
Orphan: Sure.
Girl: Ok, and go ask your parents if we can have a sleep over.
What do old people and meth heads have in common? They usually trip over their balls.
Why did the Titanic sink? Because your mom was on it.
Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction after eating 12-year-old nuts.