Short jokes
An obese kid farts.
What do you call Joe from Family Guy in an electric wheelchair?
RoboCop.
"Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else."
What's the best part about plowing your cousin?
- It makes your sister jealous.
Has anyone walked in on their parents making love? I have.
Please comment! :)
How many guns can an octopus hold?
9
My ex was so full of shit, she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.
Why was the Mexican scared of cold water?
It might turn into ICE.
You have a head of a Malteser and a hairline VEGTA.
What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.
Why did Hitler kill himself? He knew the war was over at the beginning.
What did the pilots say before crashing into the Twin Towers?
"We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we go through it!"
Orphans can get away with anything really bad at school, because they can't be sent home for it.
Don't ever tell somebody depressed to try again.
My dad went to go buy milk, but he walks as slow as my grandmother.
My grandmother is paralyzed in the legs.
My grandpa said I'm too reliant on technology... so I screamed that he was a hypocrite and I unplugged his life support.
Yo momma's so ugly Thanos had to snap twice.
What is the difference between your dad and a video game?
Your dad doesn’t beat you.
My girlfriend's pregnant. I'm 13. She was raped.
My Indian wife said last night if her fanny would taste like vindaloo curry, I said I've smelt your fucking armpits, you've got no chance.