Short jokes
If you eat a clock, then does that mean you’ve consumed time?
What's brown and sounds like a bell?
Dung.
Visiting Alabama? Pop-up dating ads be like: "Never be lonely at cousinsonly.com."
Why did the boy put the potatoes 🥔 on the kitchen floor?
He wanted to mash potatoes!
I always win arguments against my handicapped girlfriend; she can't stand for herself.
In India, 3 things are wide and far everywhere, but no one admits: racism, sexism, and Sunny's jism.
What do you call a ghost bee?
Boobees.
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Yea, they found her “head and shoulders“ on the backseat of her car.
What movie do atheists watch for Christmas?
"Coincidence on 34th Street."
People are making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.
Why was the obtuse angle hot?
It was more than 90 degrees.
What's the worst thing about having a Congolese friend?
He always needs a hand.
A woman walks into a library and asks if they have any books about paranoia. The librarian says, "They're right behind you!"
Q: Where do smart hot dogs end up?
A: The honor roll.
Alright kids! Find a good place to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.
Some people think Bin Laden is dead, but some think he's alive.
He is the Al-Qaeda Elvis.
Why was the T-rex so angry? You would be angry too if your arms were too short to masturbate.
A person asks a taxidermist what they do for a living. The taxidermist replies, "Oh, you know, stuff."
What does an orphan call a family photo?
A wishlist.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do when nobody's home?
Beat it.