Short jokes
Where do bunnies go when they're sick?
The hoppital.
Happy new year! 🥳
Never break someone's heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
What’s the similarity between your uncle and your hands?
They can both do dirty things.
What’s the difference between football and rape?
Women don’t like football.
What is the difference between a school bully and a feminist?
The school bully does not hide behind their computer screen.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More than three because the basement is still dark!
What turns a girl on more than having sex with her?
When she finds out that you have a vibrator too.
There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says he's gay. He can't be though... he's allergic to nuts!
The Annoying Orange called Donald Trump a copycat.
What's the difference between a girl and a toy? There is no difference because you play with both anyway.
What's a pedophile's favorite holiday?
Halloween. Free delivery!
Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?
Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.
What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
RIP Stephen Hawking who was buried today... he did always love black holes.
What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common?
Shooting up schoolchildren.
I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" Not Suzy.
Did you hear about the new German microwave? It has ten seats in it.
What does a carpenter do after a one night stand?
The second nightstand.
What does a priest and a clown have in common?
They both make children cry.