Nuke jokes

Do you know why the Japanese have squinted eyes? Because nukes are bright.

When Kim Jong-un said "nuke the Chinese", he meant put the take away in the oven. Some simple misunderstandings start a war.

What makes a nuke and divorce the same?

It only takes one of each to end your life.

Why are Asian's eyes always squinted?

Nukes are bright.

What do you call a kid with 15 nukes and a shotgun?

The final countdown.

What do you call a country with nukes?

Abomination.

Nah, North Korea got inspired by the fatman nuke that he also became a fatman with nukes.

You are playing as Ukraine in Military Tycoon, and then someone kills you. You see who killed you in nuke revenge, and it says "Putinmoserfucer2342."

"History's repeating itself. WWIII is coming, and the second Russia nukes the U.S., they're all getting fucked."

What does Donald Trump say when he declares war? Nuke them.

What does a pervert say when he declares war? Nude them.

Spongebob: Easy now, you try first. Get a jar.

Patrick: *picks up nuke*

Spongebob: Patrick, that's a nuke!

Patrick: Yes.

Nuke: *boom*

I hate these double standards.

If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".

When the moon hits the earth,

IT Moon-chan kissing Earth-chan.

Chuck Norris once heard nothing can kill him. So he tracked down nothing and killed it.

I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence." Anybody relate?

Roses are red, your cities are gone, I am Thomas the thermonuclear bomb.