Nuke jokes

What makes a nuke and divorce the same?

It only takes one of each to end your life.

When Kim Jong-un said "nuke the Chinese", he meant put the take away in the oven. Some simple misunderstandings start a war.

When the moon hits the earth,

IT Moon-chan kissing Earth-chan.

Do you know why the Japanese have squinted eyes? Because nukes are bright.

"History's repeating itself. WWIII is coming, and the second Russia nukes the U.S., they're all getting fucked."

What does Donald Trump say when he declares war? Nuke them.

What does a pervert say when he declares war? Nude them.

President: Them damn flat faced n**g*rs!!

Man: We have the power of the sun itself!

President: Drop it on them!

Man: You push the button.

President: *sigh* Fine give it to me.

Man: Hands over button

President: Pushes it

Both: YAAA!

President: Bumps into the button pressing it again

Both: Oh, sh*t!

Meanwhile in Japan after the first bomb went off

Japanese man: Ah sh*t here we go again

Spongebob: Easy now, you try first. Get a jar.

Patrick: *picks up nuke*

Spongebob: Patrick, that's a nuke!

Patrick: Yes.

Nuke: *boom*

Nah, North Korea got inspired by the fatman nuke that he also became a fatman with nukes.

What do you call a kid with 15 nukes and a shotgun?

The final countdown.

Why are Asian's eyes always squinted?

Nukes are bright.

You are playing as Ukraine in Military Tycoon, and then someone kills you. You see who killed you in nuke revenge, and it says "Putinmoserfucer2342."

Fuck nugget!

I'll turn ya nan into bonemeal.

What do you call a country with nukes?

Abomination.