Short jokes
Two men were bartering over a marble slab. A lot of counter-offers were made.
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you cannot helium, you have to curium. If you cannot curium, you have to barium!
What do you call a magic owl?
HOOdini
Why was the Human Torch arrested?
He had firearms.
What is the chemical formula for a banana? BaNa2
Why was the T-rex so angry? You would be angry too if your arms were too short to masturbate.
Why was the obtuse angle hot?
It was more than 90 degrees.
What movie do atheists watch for Christmas?
"Coincidence on 34th Street."
A woman walks into a library and asks if they have any books about paranoia. The librarian says, "They're right behind you!"
Q: Where do smart hot dogs end up?
A: The honor roll.
Alright kids! Find a good place to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.
What do you call a clever clock?
Clockwise.
Once my friend's bakery burned down... His business is toast.
Some people think Bin Laden is dead, but some think he's alive.
He is the Al-Qaeda Elvis.
People are making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.
What's the worst thing about having a Congolese friend?
He always needs a hand.
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Yea, they found her “head and shoulders“ on the backseat of her car.
How are peppers 🌶 so nosey?
They get jalapeño business.
What did the bull say to his son when he was going to school? "Bison!"
Where would a snowman go on his days off of work?
Snowhere.