Short jokes
What does a priest and a clown have in common?
They both make children cry.
Orphan: "I want to be a superhero."
Me: "You should be Batman."
Also me: *starts laughing* because Batman doesn't have parents...
Have you heard about the movie "Constipation"?
No, because it never came out...
Q: What does Abraham Lincoln have in common with a poor quality pirated movie?
A: They were both shot in a theater.
I fear my last words will be "hold my beer and watch this."
What does a carpenter do after a one night stand?
The second nightstand.
A pun enters the room and kills ten people.
Pun in, ten dead.
What do you call a homeless bounty hunter?
Hobo Fett!
How did the retard win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
What's black and white and hard as nails? A nun on speed!
Q: How do you get the retard kid out of the tree?
A: Wave at him.
What happens when Batman sees Catwoman?
The Dark Knight Rises.
Your hairline goes so far back it went back to when Earth was created.
What makes a depressed kid happy? ..... A bridge.
By the law, you are not allowed to have a sick bird. That's ill-eagle.
What is a self-harm person's favorite game?
Fruit Ninja.
What did the Asian people name their retarded son?
Sum Ting Wong.
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?
A: A suicide bomber.
The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.
I was hunting at night for deer, and then I found one and shot it. I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex...