Short jokes
How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.
What is the strongest weapon in India?
The red button (this is a fact).
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
I found out how to gain millions of followers.
Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?
They both shoot when they see kids.
My friends hate when I make skeleton jokes. I guess I need to put more backbone into it.
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
'Cause they are dead.
Q: What do you get when you drop all your potato chips in your couch somewhere?
A: A couch potato. HaHaHa
The only difference between my grandma and the Twin Towers is that they collapsed faster than my grandma.
When is a rapist safe around children?
When his plans are oven ready.
Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?
The kids section.
The mom: "Where did Timmy go after exploring that minefield across the road, honey?"
The dad: "Everywhere."
The couple next door made a porn film.
They don’t know it yet.
Did you know that Americans fall out of both sides of the bed?
What's a priest's favorite toy?
A mute little boy.
Are you George Floyd?
'Cause baby, you take my breath away... OOF!
I lost my dog. I probably shouldn't have named him "rape."
Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't wanna say this, but nobody cares about you.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a thrill with pills. Jack came down, fuck a clown, and the cum made them frown.
My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese.
As if she doesn't have enough on her plate.