Ghost jokes

What do ghosts put on their bagels 🥯?

Scream cheese.

What do you call a ghost's fart?

A spirit bomb.

Why do ghosts love elevators? They lift their spirits!

— Wanna hear a joke about ghosts?

— No.

— That's the spirit!

What kind of poops do ghosts take? A spooky dookie.

When you die, people cry and wish you to come back.

But when you do, people scream and run away.

An emo texted a tree, "Wanna hang out?"

The tree ghosted her.

I SH so much, even when I die and become a ghost, you can see red stripes floating around the room.

Once I saw a mirror... and that was when I got the ability to become a ghost.

I was going on a date when I decided to put on Penaldo’s PR7 cologne to smell good. As I put on the cologne, my skin started to turn invisible!

I then realized the cologne had made me turn into a ghost 👻. Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my date 😡!

I was exploring a haunted mansion when I encountered a ghost named Pristiano Penaldo. He asked if I supported Burnley as he wanted to statpad against me. Luckily, I pulled out my trusty Liverpool shirt, and he disappeared. Shame on you, Penaldo.

What would you find on a haunted beach?

A sand-witch!

"Hey guys, I'm a new jokester, remember my name as I'll be making a lot more!!! P.S. They will be much better than this one!"

I was in a haunted house today. Nothing scared me until I reached the last room, where I saw the scariest Halloween ghost I've ever seen. He took my pens and ghosted. I was told that I saw Pristiano Penaldo and I was lucky enough to see him because he performs once in a blue moon.

What room does a ghost not want to be in?

The living room.

What do you find up a ghost's nose? A BOOger.

Where are you not allowed to go trick or treating as a ghost?

Harlem, New York.

What do orphans be on Halloween?

They be themselves.

What do the Titanic and the Sixth Sense have in common?

Icy dead people.

Did you know ghosts are alcoholics?

They only come out for the boos.

Today I feel diving. Today I feel penalty. Today I feel tap in. Today I feel ghosting. Today I feel finished. Today I feel a bench warmer... I know what it feels to be discriminated... I was bullied because I am Pristiano Penaldo.