Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?

Because his wife died.

What do you call a nosy pepper?

Jalapeno

A Chicken walks into a Bar.

He Orders Dr. Pepper

He then lays a good Scrambled Egg.

why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.

What do you call a spice with a PHD

Dr. Pepper

Why do sharks swim in salt water?

Because pepper water makes them sneeze.

What is the opposite of salt water 💦?

Pepper water 💦.

How are peppers 🌶 so nosey?

They get jalapeño business.

So one day i walk up to my sister and tell her that she is adopted because she doesn’t look like anyone in the famloy she starts to cry my mom ask why shes crying and i say i told her she was adopted and i was tgere for the adopten and we have peppers it was all a lie she is not adopted and every thing is fine

what did pepper say to spray hey spray im pepper and i think we should fight crime!!!

A hand of Pepsi murdered a coca cola a innocent sprite yelled QUICK! CALL DR PEPPER! Eventually a 7 up called Dr pepper the coca cola was fine

Why do I carry pepper spray? JUST IN CASE OF AS-SAULT.

“TINY HANDS, EVEN TINIER BRAIN”

(live comedy club) Foul Mouthed Trump Hating Comic :

…“Hey how 'bout that Donald Trump chump, what the fuck up with that dude, man ? Geeeezus, he got some kuh-razy ass shit spewing endlessly out that pie-hole, 24/8!” (< leap week, muthafukas !) . . . “I mean, even his last name rhymes with shit that’s synonymous for being fucked up, for instance”…

STUMP : TEENY DICK

BUMP : TINY TIT

GUMP : DIMWITTED MOVIE IDIOT GUY

MUMP : A FUCKED UP CHILDREN’S DISEASE

LUMP : IF IT’S MALIGNANT, YOU’RE KINDA FUCKED

UMP : OFTEN MAKES TERRIBLE CALLS

RUMP : AN ASS

DUMP : A PILE OF SHIT THAT CAME OUT OF AN ASS

HUMP : SOMETHING DADDY DID TO HIM DAILY THROUGHOUT CHILDHOOD

PUMP : SEE “HUMP”

. . . and last, but definitely not least –

JUMP : JUMP INTO A DEEP HOLE MOTHER FUCKER, AND GO TO HELL !!

… “Well that’s about it for me as my explosive diarrhea is about ready to take a turn for the worse !! …(splort!, plop!)… OOOOPS !! … sniff,sniff … Ewww !” (audience roars) “Fuhhhhk !.. I better go, 'cause I just went !! … Ha! ha! ha!”

…“Thank You Lazies and Gerbilmen ! Good Night !!” …

(endless laughter, guffaws, cheers, jeers, queers, beers, pants pee-ing, beaters beating, pepper sprayin’, guns poppin’)

“OH LORDY !!.. HELL HATH FINALLY COMETH, AND ARMAGETTIN’ THE FUCK OUTTA HEEE!!”

(quick curtain call, and off to waiting taxi……….with the windows down) …Amen.

why does doctor pepper come in a bottle?

his wife died

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