What do you call a nosy pepper?
Jalapeno.
Pepper Jokes
How are peppers 🌶 so nosey?
They get jalapeño business.
What do you call a spice with a PHD?
Dr. Pepper
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
A chicken walks into a bar.
He orders Dr. Pepper.
He then lays a good scrambled egg.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
Because his wife died.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What did the cucumber say to the bell pepper that wasn't wearing enough clothes?
You need more dressing.
What is the opposite of salt water?
Pepper water.
My grandfather has been through a lot in his time. When he was in the war, he survived a mustard gas attack. And later down the line, he survived being pepper sprayed by the police. He was certainly a real seasoned veteran.
Why do I carry pepper spray?
Just in case of as-SAULT.
What did Pepper say to Spray?
"Hey Spray, I'm Pepper, and I think we should fight crime!"
Drop me in Afghanistan with a Dodge Challenger Super Stock, a Mexican named Jose, a 6 pack of Dr. Pepper, a golden SCAR, a pack of chimichangas, and an M4A1, and I'll have the Taliban saying the Pledge of Allegiance in 4 hours.
What does a noisy chilli do?
It gets jalapeno business.
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
Lately, I’ve been wearing sunglasses when I have sex.
So I don’t get pepper sprayed.
What type of doctor is Doctor Pepper?
A fizzician.
I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.
He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.
I had to share a table recently with a disabled man. When I asked him for the salt and pepper, he had to make two trips.
The only doctor you have is Doctor Pepper.
