Short jokes
I'm treated like God when I'm home, I'm usually ignored until someone wants something.
What did the plate say to the other plate? Lunch is on me! 😂
What’s Brock from Pokemon's favorite food?
Brockoli.
I am only familiar with 25 letters of the alphabet.
I don't know why.
Guess how I got away from my mom saying I can't play Fortnite? I took my stuff and I ran to Iran.
I like my coffee the way I like jokes about my coffee, I don't.
Him: What's the difference between Incestry.com and Ancestry.com?
Her: What?
Him: Nothing, either way you will be dating your cousin.
What did Homer Simpson say when he ran over a deer? "DOE!"
How can you save a depressed person from a tree?
You cut the rope.
What is purple, small, and rinsed off in a drainer?
A bunch of grapes! 🍇
If anyone's gonna be fuckin' my sister, it's gonna be ME!
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "uno, dos..." *poof* ... He disappeared without a tres.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to.
Unless you are in prison.
What do you call a disabled person in a sauna?
Steamed veggies!
I'm gonna stop telling rape jokes...
They just seem so forced.
I had to write an essay about Africa, and I failed because I plagiarized the Hunger Games script.
Why do kids like Michael Jackson so much?
Because he's made out of plastic, and that's what toys are made out of! 😂
By the law, you are not allowed to have a sick bird. That's ill-eagle.
What makes a depressed kid happy? ..... A bridge.
Where does the Batman go to pee?
The Batroom.