Short jokes
Did you hear about the gay choirboy?
He choked on his first hymn.
My friend said onions only cry, so that's why I threw a coconut at him.
If olive oil is made of olives, then baby oil is made of...
What do cats eat for breakfast?
"Mice Krispies!"
If the American Dream exists, why is it always filmed in Canada?
Why are french fries rude?
My wife treats me like God!
She takes no notice of my existence until she wants something.
My dog is called Syndrome. He jumps up at me and I shout, "Down, Syndrome! Down, Syndrome!"
The interviewer asked me if I had a criminal record when I was requesting Australian citizenship.
I replied, "No. Is that still required?"
If a pregnant emo kills herself, is that murder-suicide or just abortion?
American soldier: "Did you come here to die?"
Australian soldier: "Nah mate, I came 'ere yesterdie."
These posts are brutal; they're leaving nothing left standing.
Why is it so hard to make friends in Antarctica?
Because you cannot break the ice.
“If you're a dwarf and you're offended by that, grow up.”
Is it possible to stutter in sign language?
Yes, it’s called Parkinson’s.
What kind of motorcycle do women ride? A menstrual cycle.
Yo mama must be a giant, 'cause my Mini P.E.K.K.A. goes berserk on her!
If Germany is the father land, and Russia is the mother land, would WWII just be domestic violence?
What's an Alzheimer's victim's favorite musical group?
The Who?
What does a blowjob and a bonus check have in common?
Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.