Short jokes
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You only need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
How are laundry and Michael Jackson related?
They both got bleached!
Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.
I hate writing dwarf jokes, but I normally keep them short.
What is an orphan's favorite store?
Home Depot.
Do you know what's the difference between a knife and a girl's argument?
A knife has a point.
Imagine being such a low life that you need people to roast you to have stuff to do.
When you cream pie a tardy hottie, it’s called a loaded potato. 🥴🦴💨🥔
Suicide won't work, I'm already dead inside.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite pasta?
Spaghett-hehe.
I don’t usually tell 9/11 jokes, they usually crash and burn.
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a pimple? You never see a pimple come on a little boy’s face.
I respect woman’s choices... either she wants to cook first, then clean, or she wants to clean first, then cook.
Emos are dark people....
...So why are they all white?
Goths are even darker...
SO WHY ARE THEY WHITER!?
What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?
They both shoot when they see kids.
Singing in the shower is fun, until you get soap in your mouth.
Then it's a soap opera.
My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese.
As if she doesn't have enough on her plate.
Roses are red, you are gay, and that's it.
Don't make fun of fat people. They already have a lot on their plate.
Q. What makes music on your hair?
A. A headband!