Short jokes
I decided to make a charity bungee jump for the local disabled. It's called "Spastics on Elastics."
Why was Han Solo so suspicious when he put his penis inside Princess Leia for the first time?
Because it was Luke warm.
Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?
A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.
If the shoe fits perfectly, why did it fall off?
Your forehead is so big you could roast meat on it.
"Hey, what's the Russian president's name?" "Putin?" "Yeah, Putin deez nuts in yo mouth!"
5, 4, 3, 2, 1. A castle weighs a ton. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. The Queen of England's won! I never thought she'd get it done, but her sister is a nun.
I saw this girl with blue hair and slapped her wrist and said, βNICE CUT G!β
Why does the orange π beat the other fruits π in every race?
Because it never runs out of juice.
What did the butcher say to the pig?
Nice to meat you.
What is the worst part of milking a cow?
The smell of the dairy air.
Why don't you see black people with Down syndrome?
Because God doesn't punish someone twice.
Orphan jokes are like families, not everyone gets 'em.
(Also, I banged ya mum ;))
How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? Seven when I tried!
Last time I got a piece of ass was when my finger went through the toilet paper.
What do you call a dog that can do magic?
A Labracadabrador.
The Harry Potter fanbase.
I see some objects over there... oh, never mind, that's a woman.
What's black and white and red all over?
A police brutality case.
I'm going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!