Short jokes
I got caught doing donuts in the parking lot, and I know what y'all are thinking.
Who names their dog Donuts?
When did I realize COVID was serious?
When I saw your teeth social distancing.
Stephen Hawking:
Q: Who Made Stephen Hawkins' Wheel Chair?
A:) Tesla
Stephen Hawking always wins musical chairs, as he’s always sitting down.
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat, she said nothing. So I brought her to Africa.
Boi, you're the reason the Great Wall of China is a thing. You're so ugly the Chinese needed to block you out!
Skidaddle skidoodle, your dick is now a noodle!
These jokes are nearly as dead as Steven Hawkings.
What's a rapist's favorite scale?
C Minor.
I decided to make a charity bungee jump for the local disabled. It's called "Spastics on Elastics."
Why was Han Solo so suspicious when he put his penis inside Princess Leia for the first time?
Because it was Luke warm.
Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?
A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.
Your forehead is so big you could roast meat on it.
"Hey, what's the Russian president's name?" "Putin?" "Yeah, Putin deez nuts in yo mouth!"
Why did the homeless man stop to help the kids cross the street?
To get them into his van.
I saw this girl with blue hair and slapped her wrist and said, “NICE CUT G!”
5, 4, 3, 2, 1. A castle weighs a ton. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. The Queen of England's won! I never thought she'd get it done, but her sister is a nun.
Why does the orange 🍊 beat the other fruits 🍎 in every race?
Because it never runs out of juice.
What is the worst part of milking a cow?
The smell of the dairy air.
If the shoe fits perfectly, why did it fall off?