Short jokes
What type of meat do priests eat on Good Friday? Nun.
Why did the democrats come out of the closet as assholes after they found out that Rush Limbaugh died? Because they don't fear him anymore.
Roses are red, violets are violet.
My grandad died in 9/11. He was a good pilot.
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: It gets beat by the cops on a daily basis.
What is Hitler's favorite book? "Hitler and the chamber of secrets."
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? The apple got picked.
My first high-school football game was a lot like my first time having sex...
I was bloody and sore at the end, but at least my dad came.
Whenever I have a one night stand, I always use protection.
A fake name and a fake phone number.
What is it called when you hit your funny bone at night?
Dark humor.
What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
Dad: "I'm giving all your toys to the orphanage."
Kid: "Why are you doing that?"
Dad: "So you won't get bored there."
Dead people jokes are the best, they're ground breaking.
I remember the first time I went to one of Luis Fonsi's concerts...
I wanted to commit DEATHpacito so badly.
To all of you who can't understand using jokes as a coping mechanism... you know what I will ask of you :)
What do Hostess Twinkies and the cock of a gay man have in common?
🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍨 🍨 🍨 🍨
I call my friends Dodo birds. Because they don't exist.
What do you call the whole population turning into emos?
The Great Depression.
My uncle said he wants to be a dinosaur. I said why... he said so I could be extinct 😭😭
What music do Astronauts listen to?
Nep-tunes.
When you ask your sister if she wanna smash, but then she grabs the Switch.