Short jokes
yo mama so stupid she climbed up a glass wall to see what was on the other side.
Hellen Keller walked into a bar... then a table... then a chair.
Give a man a match, he'll be warm for a while. But set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
How do you cover 12 holes with one hole?
Take a flute and shove it up your ass.
Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach a Nigerian to phish, and he'll become a prince.
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
What do you call disabled people that follow politics?
A special interest group.
Why don't blind people skydive?
Because it scares their dogs too much!
Racecar backwards is racecar, but racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died.
Did you know that towels are the leading cause of dry skin?
What do you call a redneck on fire?
A fire cracker.
What's simultaneously up and down?
A retard on a plane.
What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
What's Al-Qaeda's favorite sports team?
The New York Jets.
Bully: Hey virgin!
Victim: I'm not a virgin, just ask your sister.
Bully: I don't have a sister, dumbass.
Victim: Just wait nine months.
What does B.I.B.L.E. stand for?
Bull Shit In Book Lacking Evidence.
Does it cycle now?
How does a blind person know when a skydive has finished?
The dog lead went slack.
What does the cannibal get after a one night stand?
Breakfast in bed!
Why did Cinderella get kicked out of Disneyland?
Because she sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie, bastard, lie!"
What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a badly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.