Short jokes
What do you call two Mexicans in a sleeping bag?
A Twix.
My friends say they don’t like my skeleton puns.
I should put a little more backbone into them.
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: It gets beat by the cops on a daily basis.
How does Hellen Keller drive?
With one hand on the wheel and the other on the road.
Lol making jokes about cancer makes me feel better as a person that had cancer, it’s great!
When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself... #victoryroyale
I've just started reading my first ever Braille horror story, and I think that something scary is about to happen. I can feel it.
What's the difference between a paycheck and your penis?
You don't have to beg your wife to blow up the paycheck.
What did Earth say to the other planets?
"You guys have no life!"
I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like carrots!"
Why don't skeletons fight each other?
They don't have the guts.
What do KFC and pussy have in common?
Both are finger lickin' good, and after you are done eating, you have a box to put the bone in.
A woman can fake an orgasm for the sake of a relationship.
A man can fake a relationship for the sake of an orgasm.
I just found out I'm colorblind. News came out of the purple.
I'm shocked that Kanye West never tried to get Carrie Underwood's number after Carrie starred in a pro-Aryan ad for Almay.
With numerous reports of Donald Trump's odor and Kelly Clarkson's lack of hygienic habits... proof that money doesn't buy cleanliness.
There is a lot of difference between a man and a woman saying, "I went through a whole box of tissues watching that movie."
What do sex and food have in common?
My sister makes it better than my cousin.
My girlfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
How do fat people settle arguments?
By bumping into each other to see who falls over first.