Short jokes
What does Michael Jackson do with his meat? "Just beat it". His song btw lol.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
Nah c'mon guys, we don't let jokes like this fly around here.
I got jealous of the zebras. Sorry, I’ll cut it out. I wanted to practice for my med school test.
What do you find in Jeffrey Dahmer's shower?
Heads and shoulders.
What do you call a sneaky child molester?
Incogpedo.
Why did the slave go to college?
To get his master's degree.
I had a very long dream that I was eating the most juiciest, tastiest meal I'd ever eaten in my life. Then when I woke up, my wife was gone.
My dad told me to stop with the suicide jokes, so I said I’ll cut it out.
My kids found me in the family tree. I was hanging there for hours.
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?
An RCXD (remote control explosive).
When I get suicidal, everyone worries. I don't know why because that is when I'm the happiest, thinking about death.
roses are red, unlike the rest, I'm the one who has your IP address.
What is the coolest bath bomb for emos?
A toaster.
What's the difference between an emo kid and a leaf? Only the leaf reaches the ground.
How do necrophiles get consent? A ouija board.
I have the brains of an old man and the heart of a child. If you don't believe me, I can pop my trunk.
A normal kid brings an MP3 to school.
A rich kid brings an MP4 to school.
A quiet kid brings an MP5.
Man 1: Why don’t we just put all the debt in the world on one man, then kill him?
Man 2: We tried that once. It started a cult.
My girlfriend said onions were the only foods that make you cry.
Until I threw a watermelon in her face.