Necrophilia jokes
What is the difference in having a granny fetish and necrophilia? A few weeks.
Is necrophilia considered cracking open a cold one?
Place a man in a morgue, he'll try to leave.
Place a doctor in a morgue, he'll go to work.
Place a necrophiliac in a morgue, he'll stay happy for a week.
Necrophilia in Alabama is fun for the whole family, even grandma.
Digging stuff up is too hard.
I guess necrophilia isn’t for everybody.
What does a necrophiliac get at a wedding?
Mourning wood.
Is it necrophilia if they die while you're having sex and you just don't realize?
That's what happened to my dog.
How did the necrophiliac get caught?
Some rotten cunt split on him....
A necrophiliac woman goes over to her friend's house after hooking up.
"Was it hung?" her friend asks.
"No, he was shot."
A man is walking on a bridge and sees a lady over the railing.
Man: "Ah, suicidal eh? Are you gonna jump?" Lady: "Yep. I hate this world." Man: "Well, if you're gonna die, can we have sex before you jump?" Lady: "Hell no! You creep!" Man: "Ok, fine. I guess I'll just wait until your corpse washes onto the shore."
How do necrophiles get consent? A ouija board.
Kenny was into incest until his mom died.
Now he's into necrophilia.
I always keep anti-fungal spray with me... because I don't want to share my girlfriend with anyone.
What's the difference between necrophilia and a choking fetish? 15 seconds.
I used to be into necrophilia. Until that rotten cunt split on me...
I love necrophilia, but only if it's consensual!
There are plenty more fish in the sea is the last thing you should say to a necrophiliac.
I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!
So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.
When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"
He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."
I just saw people writing "Zoophile," "Ailurophile," and "Dendrophilia" in their bios. I thought this was cool, but when I wrote "Necrophile" and "Pedophile," I don't know why people started hating me as if I did something wrong. I was just trying to be cool like them, man.