The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.

The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.

What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?

Nothing.

Window Problems A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won’t open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer." Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”

I started a band called 999 megabytes… we still haven’t gotten a gig

Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. “1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10.”

Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, “I still love Vista, baby”.

A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?”

The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, “You can have anything you want.””

The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”

A wife and husband was setting up their computer and the husband makes the password my dick, but the wife fell on the floor laughing because the computer said the password was too short.

What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he’s hooked up to? – The computer runs.

Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married?

Because they had a connection

How did the computer get out of the house?

He used windows.

Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house?

A: Your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and 2 hours later he’s still trying to back out of the driveway.

What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human? Ask Boeing.

I love the smell of my F5 key. – It’s very refreshing.

What did the processor say when it was being overclocked?

“Stop it! It hertz so much!”

Where did the software developer go?! I don’t know, he ransomware!

Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. “dos, 1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 8.1, 10.”

Your Momma’s so fat, the recursive function calculating her mass causes a stack overflow.

what do you call a creepy IT teacher…a PDF file

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