Computer jokes
Why don’t orphans work as computer repair technicians? Because they can’t find the motherboard.
Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married?
Because they had a connection.
What's an alien's favorite computer key?
The space bar!
Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. "1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."
A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won't open."
Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer."
Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now."
Where did the software developer go?
I don’t know, he ransomware!
Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, "I still love Vista, baby."
I fell in love with my computer because it helps me Excel.
What did the processor say when it was being overclocked? "Stop it! It hertz so much!"
A wife and husband were setting up their computer, and the husband made the password "my dick." But the wife fell on the floor laughing because the computer said the password was too short.
Don’t fart in an Apple Store.
It has no Windows.
The other day my computer crashed. Luckily, there were no injuries.
What do you get when you cross a shark and a computer? Computer bytes!
When you're working in the Twin Towers and your computer connects to the airplane wifi.
The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple, but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
What do you call a creepy IT teacher?
A PDF file.
Q. What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? A. “I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions.”
A computer science student is studying under a tree, and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, "Where'd you get that?"
The student on the bike replies, "While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, 'You can have anything you want.'"
The first student responds, "Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
Why did the computer go to the doctor?
Because it had a virus.
How does a computer spell "Autocorrect"?