Computer Jokes

Anonymous
in Orphan

Why don’t orphans work as computer repair technicians?

Because they can’t find the motherboard

8
Anonymous

Where did the software developer go?! I don’t know, he ransomware!

Anonymous

The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.

4
Anonymous

what do you call a creepy IT teacher…a PDF file

Anonymous

Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. “1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10.”

Anonymous
in Programming

A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?”

The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, “You can have anything you want.””

The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”

4
hartfelt.net
in Blonde

Window Problems A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won’t open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer." Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”

3
Busby

Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married?

Because they had a connection

P.... Jokes 101 v2

A wife and husband was setting up their computer and the husband makes the password my dick, but the wife fell on the floor laughing because the computer said the password was too short.

9
Anonymous

What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?

Nothing.

2
Anonymous

Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, “I still love Vista, baby”.

0
fatman200
in Puns

What’s a aliens favorite computer key?

the space bar!

Return of Quagman

How did the computer get out of the house?

He used windows.

Jon
in Puns

The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.

1
IteratedGaming

What did the processor say when it was being overclocked?

“Stop it! It hertz so much!”

Hippity Hoppity Boi
in Puns

I started a band called 999 megabytes… we still haven’t gotten a gig

8
JocoseJack

I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he wrist in peach.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

my wife said if I don’t get of the computer shes gonna slam my head in to the keyboard but I think I’ll ajlkfsdhnvkwr;anhf

Anonymous

What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he’s hooked up to? – The computer runs.

Anonymous

Some people are like a software update. When I see them I think, “Not now.”