Computer Jokes

Where did the software developer go?! I don’t know, he ransomware!

Why don’t orphans work as computer repair technicians?

Because they can’t find the motherboard

what do you call a creepy IT teacher...........a PDF file

The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.

Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. "1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."

A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, "Where'd you get that?"

The student on the bike replies, "While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, "You can have anything you want.""

The first student responds, "Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."

Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married?

Because they had a connection

Window Problems A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won't open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer." Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”

What's a aliens favorite computer key?

the space bar!

What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?

Nothing.

How do computers get drunk

They take a screenshot

A wife and husband was setting up their computer and the husband makes the password my dick, but the wife fell on the floor laughing because the computer said the password was too short.

How did the computer get out of the house?

He used windows.

What did the processor say when it was being overclocked?

"Stop it! It hertz so much!"

Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, "I still love Vista, baby".

The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.

When you're working in the twin towers and your computer connects to the airplane wifi

I started a band called 999 megabytes... we still haven't gotten a gig

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he's hooked up to? -- The computer runs.

What's missing in an orphanage computer?

The mother board