Computer Jokes

Development

Anonymous
·

Where did the software developer go?! I don’t know, he ransomware!

Orphan

Anonymous
·

Why don’t orphans work as computer repair technicians?

Because they can’t find the motherboard

Crash

Anonymous
·

The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.

4

Count

Anonymous
·

Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. "1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."

Programming

Anonymous
·

A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, "Where'd you get that?"

The student on the bike replies, "While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, "You can have anything you want.""

The first student responds, "Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."

5

File

Anonymous
·

what do you call a creepy IT teacher...........a PDF file

Connection

Busby
·

Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married?

Because they had a connection

Drunk

·

How do computers get drunk

They take a screenshot

Blonde

hartfelt.net
·

Window Problems A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won't open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer." Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”

3

Puns

fatman200
·

What's a aliens favorite computer key?

the space bar!

Crash

Anonymous
·

What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?

Nothing.

4

Johnny Depp

Anonymous
·

I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.

Windows

Return of Quagman
·

How did the computer get out of the house?

He used windows.

Stop

IteratedGaming
·

What did the processor say when it was being overclocked?

"Stop it! It hertz so much!"

Wife

P.... Jokes 101 v2
·

A wife and husband was setting up their computer and the husband makes the password my dick, but the wife fell on the floor laughing because the computer said the password was too short.

9

Baby

Anonymous
·

Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, "I still love Vista, baby".

0

Connection

WhattAnIdiot
·

When you're working in the twin towers and your computer connects to the airplane wifi

Puns

Jon
·

The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.

1

Orphan

Anonymous
·

What's missing in an orphanage computer?

The mother board