The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.

A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?”

The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, “You can have anything you want.””

The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”

A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, “Do you have that book for men with small”

The librarian looks on her computer and says, “I don’t know if it’s in yet.”

“Yeah, that’s the one!”

What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he’s hooked up to? – The computer runs.

What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?


Did you hear how Steven Hawkins Died? There was a mix up and he was dropped at pc world instead of A&E!

Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. “1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10.”

whats the difference between paul walker and a computer? i give a f... if my computer crashes

How did the computer get out of the house?

He used windows.

Yo mama so stupid, that when she heard about cookies on the internet she ate her computer

Some people are like a software update. When I see them I think, “Not now.”

What does a shark and a computer have in common?

They both have megabites.

I love the smell of my F5 key. – It’s very refreshing.

Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married?

Because they had a connection

Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, “I still love Vista, baby”.

What do you call a crazy computer? Wired.

What did Stephen hawkings computer say when he died ?? … ERROR

I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he wrist in peach.

What is the difference between a school bully and a feminist?

The school bully does not hide behide there computer screen.

One apple a day keeps the doctor away, not logging onto servers using management or service accounts keeps SecOps people away.

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