Compliment jokes

You look good with anything, but nothing works too.

You're not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.

"You look like you've lost some weight."

"Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!"

The wife said, "Honey! Do you like my new teeth?"

The husband replied, "They remind me of stars, darling!"

"Yellow and far apart."

I would roast you but you're already so hot.

My child: "Dad, am I beautiful?"

Me: "You’re like the sun, sweetie. You’re painful to look at."

I was cutting the vegetables and my mom asked how I was so skillful.

How do emos compliment each other?

They say, "I like your cuts g."

How to complement a depressed person: "I like your cuts, g."

A blind woman told me I had a big penis yesterday.

I think she was pulling my leg.

If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome, I guess now it's clear why everyone calls me handsome.

All these Avengers and you're still marvellous.

What did the lampshade say to the light bulb?

You brighten my day.

Me: I look up to you.

Friend: Wow, thanks!

Me: But in general cuz your so tall.

"Addison, are you one of those kids who are very, very, very, very smart? Because you sound like one."

What do you do when you see a wiener dog?

I like you wiener.

You are the reason double doors were invented.

"You're the bomb."

"No, you're the bomb."

A compliment in the US, an argument in the Middle East.

A: It’s very delicious! Great! Fantastic!

B: Thank you.

A: People don’t speak when they eat delicious foods!

On Paxomedy channel, I made a video of a Rooster and a dog fighting.

I needed to know why they were fighting. Once I dug down into the issue, it turned out that the Dog called the Rooster a Cock, and the Rooster laughed and called the Dog a useless Bitch, and that was the beginning of their fight, and weird enough, the Cock won!

I went to congratulate the winner, but he thought he was insulting me by calling me Zinjathropus, but I said that was a compliment because Zinja was an old skeleton found in Africa, and I am African. I said to the Rooster he shouldn't have fought with the dog just because he called him a Cock. He said that being called a Cock is a compliment, and the fighting was his exercise to toughen up for serious fights with Dogs!