Compliment

Compliment Jokes

Wife

Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"

Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."

Child

My child: "Dad, am I beautiful?"

Me: "You’re like the sun, sweetie. You’re painful to look at."

Bomb

"You're da bomb!" "No, you're da bomb!"

In America, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.

Roast

Roses are red, violets are blue, Shrek thought he was ugly until he saw you.

Sex

If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome, I guess now it's clear why everyone calls me handsome.

Emo

How do emos compliment each other?

They say, "I like your cuts g."

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  • Doctor

    I am still trying to figure out why paying the COVID doctors a compliment is so offensive. They even kicked me out, and all I said was to stay positive...

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  • Husband

    Wife: "How would you describe me?"

    Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."

    Wife: "What does that mean?"

    Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute (C), delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H)."

    Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"

    Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

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  • Teeth

    The wife said, "Honey! Do you like my new teeth?"

    The husband replied, "They remind me of stars, darling!"

    "Yellow and far apart."

    Argument

    "You the bomb!" No, "you the bomb!" A compliment in America, an argument in Afghanistan.

    Skill

    I was cutting the vegetables and my mom asked how I was so skillful.

    Weight

    "You look like you've lost some weight."

    "Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!"

    Height

    Me: I look up to you.

    Friend: Wow, thanks!

    Me: But in general cuz your so tall.

    Penis

    A blind woman told me I had a big penis yesterday.

    I think she was pulling my leg.

    Example

    You're not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.