Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?" Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."
"You're da bomb!" "No, you're da bomb!"
In America, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.
My child: "Dad, am I beautiful?"
Me: "You’re like the sun, sweetie. You’re painful to look at."
Roses are red, violets are blue, Shrek thought he was ugly until he saw you.
If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome, I guess now it's clear why everyone calls me handsome.
How do emo's compliment each other?
They say " I like your cuts g"
How to complement a depressed person: I like your cuts g
You are the reason double doors were invented
The Wife said "Honey! Do you like my new Teeth?"
The Husband replied "They remind me of stars Darling!" "Yellow and Far apart"
You the bomb! No, you the bomb! A compliment in america, an argument in afghanistan
I was cutting the vegetables and my mom asked how I was so skillful
Me: I look up to you Friend: Wow, thanks! Me: But in general cuz your so tall
A blind woman told me I had a big penis yesterday.
I think she was pulling my leg.
"You look like you've lost some weight."
"Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!"
A mother and son were in the backyard and the son finished building a shed. The mother says "You're the best husband ever"
a fat girl was dancing on the table and i said nice legs she says you really think so and i say yes definitely most tables would of been broken by now
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
if u tell a girl there pretty they wont believe u if u tell them their ugly their never forget it....
elephants never forget.
You're cheap no one even pays attention.
Are you made of Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
Cause dam you lookin kinda Au Ti S Ti C
