Short jokes
So my dad said to me and my sister, "Don't fight," but did he mean "fist fight" or "yelling fight?"
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
When Santa asks you what you want for Christmas, then says "ho ho ho," say, "Yes, please."
What do you call a Chinese person with no legs?
Lim Ping.
What is an Emo's favorite way to Cosplay?
Dress up as a piñata!
Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"
Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"
Emo grass cuts itself, while transgender laundry hangs itself.
Did you know a full moon is perfect for a werewolf to come out?
I’m gay.
What's the difference between property and women? At least property still retains some value after getting wrecked.
The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
Your hairline is so bad that it makes Lebron's hairline look normal.
Give a man a match, he'll be warm for a while. But set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
What does Madeleine McCann and my old Xbox have in common?
They both died with red rings.
yo mama so stupid she climbed up a glass wall to see what was on the other side.
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
How do you cover 12 holes with one hole?
Take a flute and shove it up your ass.
Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach a Nigerian to phish, and he'll become a prince.
Racecar backwards is racecar, but racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died.
Did you know that towels are the leading cause of dry skin?