Short jokes
If a white cop had a black dick, would he beat it to death?
What does the cannibal get after a one night stand?
Breakfast in bed!
What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a badly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.
What do you call a German lesbian?
A krautmuncher.
We're skipping April Fools' Day this year. The biggest joke is already sitting in office running our country.
My kids are so ungrateful. I got them a new dishwasher and they just won't stop complaining about their mom.
What type of meat do priests eat on Good Friday? Nun.
Fun fact: Most of the black holes in the universe are found in Africa!
Why did the democrats come out of the closet as assholes after they found out that Rush Limbaugh died? Because they don't fear him anymore.
Roses are red, violets are violet.
My grandad died in 9/11. He was a good pilot.
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: It gets beat by the cops on a daily basis.
What is Hitler's favorite book? "Hitler and the chamber of secrets."
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? The apple got picked.
My first high-school football game was a lot like my first time having sex...
I was bloody and sore at the end, but at least my dad came.
Whenever I have a one night stand, I always use protection.
A fake name and a fake phone number.
What is it called when you hit your funny bone at night?
Dark humor.
What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
Dad: "I'm giving all your toys to the orphanage."
Kid: "Why are you doing that?"
Dad: "So you won't get bored there."
Dead people jokes are the best, they're ground breaking.
I remember the first time I went to one of Luis Fonsi's concerts...
I wanted to commit DEATHpacito so badly.