Scan jokes
If I went to Walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they're barcodes too.
I was joking about self-harm to my friend, and she told me to "CUT it out!" I couldn't even laugh.
When we were at the self-checkout, she started scanning my arms. I asked her what she was doing. She said, "Trying to see if it beeps, ya think I'd get it to work if I scanned your thighs?"
I said, "Nah, bro, you'd overload the system if you put it there."
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
I know I'm valuable, I come with a barcode ;)
What's the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store?
Scan the wrist and you might get a discount.
Memes
Virus Scam????
People sometimes ask me why I cut myself. I usually answer that at least I can scan my worth at the supermarket.
Me: tries to scan self at Walmart. I can't scan myself, wanna know why?
Alfred: Why?
Me: because I'm worthless... =)
Why don’t emo girls go to self checkout?
Because every time they scan, it scans twice.
When me and my friend went to the market, my friend tried to scan my arm, and I asked her what she was doing. She answered, "Oh, I had to buy you so I don't steal you."
Q: Why do Norwegian ships have bar codes on them?
A: So when they come into port they can Scan-Da-Navy-In!
I told my friend that if he ever wants 50% off something at a store, just to take me with him and scan my wrist.
Dogs can't operate MRI machines.
But cat scan!
My ex-boyfriend tried to scan himself at the supermarket checkout for fun.
“See how I can’t scan myself? It’s because I’m priceless.”
I decided I’d scan my wrist too, just for fun.
Found out I’m worth $3.97.
Next time at Walmart, I'm going to scan my wrist. They are basically barcodes.
Trump's medical records were just released. According to the brain scan, the left side of his brain has nothing right, while the right side has nothing left.
Why was the emo kid sad? Because his bar code expired.
Emo girls be like: How much am I worth...
Girl, scan the code on your wrist!
I'm worth something, I got a barcode on my arm!
Why should you be friends with emos? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off, and when it expires, they get rid of themselves.
I can go to Walmart and scan my wrists. It'll say "antidepressants." ✨