Military jokes
My grandpa killed 100 German soldiers; he was the worst German pilot ever.
A girl kept looking through the window whilst the boys got changed!
I, as a boy, was getting annoyed, so I found an interesting magazine in the corner. So, what did I do? Reload and fire!
*Loud explosion inside the tank* "Where's the commander?" "He's gone." "Where has he gone?" "All over the place."
I joined the military for the group showers.
How did the octopus go to the war?
Well armed.
What's long, black and full of seamen? A submarine.
When a military person dies, we shoot all night. When a drunkard dies, we drink all night. When a Christian dies, we pray all night. What if a prostitute dies? What should we do? Please tell me.
What's the difference between a school and an ISIS military base? Don't ask me, I only fly the drone.
Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?
From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.
There was an enemy with a machine gun.
My commander said, "Un-arm the enemy."
So I ran over to the enemy and chopped his arms off.
What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!
They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.
Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.
What is the difference between a zebra and a female NCO?
A zebra didn't have to suck and fuck to get its stripes.
What's after R-P-G?
W.
If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?
That number is how many dicks you suck.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
ISIS recently brought out their own shampoo: HEAD AND SOLDIERS.
What if Hitler did not say "bombs away," he said "lambs are slayed?"
My grandpa personally killed 3 German pilots. He was the worst mechanic Luftwaffe had.
What do you call the 10th hole on a military golf course?
Ten-putt!
Know the nuclear bombs of the world.
🇷🇺🧨 a “bad” bomb
🇨🇳🧨 “ww3”
🇬🇧🧨 a “good” bomb
🇺🇸🧨 Japanese area testing
🇮🇱🧨 what bomb
🇮🇷🧨 just self defence