Military jokes
Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?
From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.
What is the difference between a zebra and a female NCO?
A zebra didn't have to suck and fuck to get its stripes.
What's the difference between a school and an ISIS military base? Don't ask me, I only fly the drone.
My grandpa personally killed 3 German pilots. He was the worst mechanic Luftwaffe had.
Going in a military.
The last thing I heard from them is: "Goodbye!"
What's long, black and full of seamen? A submarine.
*Loud explosion inside the tank* "Where's the commander?" "He's gone." "Where has he gone?" "All over the place."
What do a tank and a warship have in common?
They're overweight.
When a military person dies, we shoot all night. When a drunkard dies, we drink all night. When a Christian dies, we pray all night. What if a prostitute dies? What should we do? Please tell me.
What hates socialism but still uses roads, police, and says they support the military?
Dumb right wingers.
What's the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
Name: Jack, call sign "triple".
School: Nova corps gun academy.
Location: Wyoming mountains.
A girl kept looking through the window whilst the boys got changed!
I, as a boy, was getting annoyed, so I found an interesting magazine in the corner. So, what did I do? Reload and fire!
How did the octopus go to the war?
Well armed.
Why does the military pick orphans as fighter pilots?
Because homing missiles don't work on them.
Why can't we see a camel?
Because it's camelflauged!
My grandpa killed 100 German soldiers; he was the worst German pilot ever.
During the Great War, a man holding a machine gun shoots down a swarm of soldiers running on a swamp.
He says: "You came to the wrong swamp, Americans! You came to the wrong swamp!" *He didn't stop firing.*
Russia went from N-95 to M-16 real quick...
What is the best way to run away from home?
Join the military.