Military

Military Jokes

Drone

What's the difference between a school and an ISIS military base? Don't ask me, I only fly the drone.

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  • Drunkard

    When a military person dies, we shoot all night. When a drunkard dies, we drink all night. When a Christian dies, we pray all night. What if a prostitute dies? What should we do? Please tell me.

    Grandpa

    My grandpa killed 100 German soldiers; he was the worst German pilot ever.

    Atomic Bomb

    Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?

    From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.

    Grandpa

    My grandpa personally killed 3 German pilots. He was the worst mechanic Luftwaffe had.

    Dick

    If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?

    That number is how many dicks you suck.

    War

    Going in a military.

    The last thing I heard from them is: "Goodbye!"

    Explosion

    *Loud explosion inside the tank*

    "Where's the commander?" "He's gone." "Where has he gone?" "All over the place."

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  • Hand Grenade

    My grandfather never threw anything away, bless him. He died in the war holding on to a hand grenade.

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  • Woman

    We need more women in the military! They can bleed for weeks and still not die!

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  • Airstrike

    What do U.S. airstrikes and dark humor have in common?

    They're normally pointed towards Africa and the Middle East.

    Sniper

    I took my girlfriend out the other day... Man, do I love being a sniper.