My grandfather never threw anything away, bless him. He died in the war holding on to a hand grenade.
*Loud explosion inside the tank*
"Where's the commander?" "He's gone." "Where has he gone?" "All over the place."
What's long, black and full of seamen? A submarine
Which branch of the military accepts toddlers? The infantry.
We need more women in the military! They can bleed for weeks and still not die!
Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?
From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice
"Sanderson, fire a warning shot."
"Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."
"Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."
My dad has the heart of a soldier, and a restraining order from the soldier's family.
What did the soldier say when he sees a terrorist in a wheelchair......
RC-XD incoming
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major
Drop me in afghanistan with a dodge challenger super stock, a mexican named jose, a 6 pack of dr.pepper, a golden scar, a pack of chimichangas and a M4A1 and ill have the taliban saying the pledge of allegence in 4 hours.
Why does the military recruit orphans? Because homing missiles don’t target them
If you ever feel useless... Just remember that If you ever feel useless...
Just remember that it took the US 4 presidents, Trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with...
the Taliban
I once had an emo friend doing a course for the marines. He made the cut.
School and Boot Camp are a lot alike, the only difference is that in school you don't have to get deployed to get shot at
Q: What do you call 6 gay men in the army
A: Rainbow six seege
Chuck Norris didn't join the army, the army joined Chuck Norris
Commander: "Fire a warning shot" Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher" Commander: "potato, potato, just fire" Soldier: *fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school* Commander: "They're trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!"
What is the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani primary school?
I don't know... I just fly the drone
Why does Hitler where glasses because he can Nazi without them
