Short jokes
You know what’s impossible?
Steven Walking.
Tombstone engraving: "I TOLD you I was sick!"
Why is Helen Keller's child blind too? She always fed it with a fork!
What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.
What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?
It was given two consecutive sentences.
Is Google a girl or a boy?
Obviously a girl, because it won't let you finish a sentence without making a suggestion.
2020 was the first time Kobe had passed in years.
Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. "1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."
A boy breaks a vase, and his mom says it's ok, honey, mistakes happen. How do you think you were born?
I've just started reading my first ever Braille horror story, and I think that something scary is about to happen. I can feel it.
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? -- Canned food.
Q: Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
A: To find Pooh!
"Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death"?
Maybe in infidel America but.... it is #1 in the Glorious Iran.
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Bully: Hey virgin!
Victim: I'm not a virgin, just ask your sister.
Bully: I don't have a sister, dumbass.
Victim: Just wait nine months.
Cousins make dozens.
What did the autistic kid order at a restaurant?
A disorder.
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
A letter from his family; he hadn't seen them in years.
What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation?
A period.
Why?
Because it marks the end of a sentence.
Kid: Hey, what’s black and sneaky!
Social studies teacher: Harriet Tubman.
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? -- Because the cow has the udder.