Short jokes

Short jokes

Comeback

Bully: Hey virgin!

Victim: I'm not a virgin, just ask your sister.

Bully: I don't have a sister, dumbass.

Victim: Just wait nine months.

Pirate

What is a pirate's favorite letter?

A letter from his family; he hadn't seen them in years.

Punctuation

What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation?

A period.

Why?

Because it marks the end of a sentence.

Cow

Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? -- Because the cow has the udder.

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  • Fire

    Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day.

    Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

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  • Friend

    My friend: You really need to stop the SH jokes.

    Me: But they're not that long.

    Drunk

    Kid: Dad, what is it like to be drunk?

    Dad: You see those two trees over there? If you were drunk, you would see four.

    Kid: Dad, there is only one tree.

    Life

    Don't worry if you think your life sucks. Just remember that people are arguing over the gender of a potato head.

    Difference

    What's the difference between a phone and a girl? You can turn it off whenever you want.

    Time

    I’m old enough to remember innocent times when the worst headline was plane hijackers flying into buildings.

    Wall

    So, you wanna hear a joke about the wall?

    ... Actually, nah, you won't get over it.

    Orphan

    Why do orphans go to the ancient pyramids for vacation?

    In hope to find a mummy.