Short jokes
Whenever I have a one night stand, I always use protection.
A fake name and a fake phone number.
What is it called when you hit your funny bone at night?
Dark humor.
What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer? A Father-in-law.
Dead people jokes are the best, they're ground breaking.
I feel sad for orphans. They can't watch Star Wars because it's parental guidance.
What do you call the whole population turning into emos?
The Great Depression.
When you ask your sister if she wanna smash, but then she grabs the Switch.
I call my friends Dodo birds. Because they don't exist.
What do you call a group of chubby trans-genders?
Trans-fats.
What do Hostess Twinkies and the cock of a gay man have in common?
🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍨 🍨 🍨 🍨
My uncle said he wants to be a dinosaur. I said why... he said so I could be extinct 😭😭
What music do Astronauts listen to?
Nep-tunes.
To all of you who can't understand using jokes as a coping mechanism... you know what I will ask of you :)
I remember the first time I went to one of Luis Fonsi's concerts...
I wanted to commit DEATHpacito so badly.
What do a fat chick and a moped have in common?
They’re both fun to ride until your friends find out.
If Stephen Hawking has a heart attack, do you take him to Halfords or A&E?
Dad: "I'm giving all your toys to the orphanage."
Kid: "Why are you doing that?"
Dad: "So you won't get bored there."
This is really mean...
A man put a blind man in a circular room and said, "Your dinner's in the corner."
The reason why the "eating a tide pod" trend ended so fast is because everyone that did it died.
I went to a park, then I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair, then screamed "Rocket League!"