Short jokes
To all of you who can't understand using jokes as a coping mechanism... you know what I will ask of you :)
What do you call the whole population turning into emos?
The Great Depression.
What do you call a group of chubby trans-genders?
Trans-fats.
My uncle said he wants to be a dinosaur. I said why... he said so I could be extinct 😭😭
What do Hostess Twinkies and the cock of a gay man have in common?
🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍨 🍨 🍨 🍨
What music do Astronauts listen to?
Nep-tunes.
I remember the first time I went to one of Luis Fonsi's concerts...
I wanted to commit DEATHpacito so badly.
When you ask your sister if she wanna smash, but then she grabs the Switch.
I call my friends Dodo birds. Because they don't exist.
I feel sad for orphans. They can't watch Star Wars because it's parental guidance.
Why can't a Muslim woman give head to an American cop?
She doesn't eat pigs.
What do a fat chick and a moped have in common?
They’re both fun to ride until your friends find out.
If Stephen Hawking has a heart attack, do you take him to Halfords or A&E?
This is really mean...
A man put a blind man in a circular room and said, "Your dinner's in the corner."
Dad: "I'm giving all your toys to the orphanage."
Kid: "Why are you doing that?"
Dad: "So you won't get bored there."
The reason why the "eating a tide pod" trend ended so fast is because everyone that did it died.
Why did Mia Khalifa become so famous?
Because she blew up.
I went to a park, then I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair, then screamed "Rocket League!"
When was the first Black Friday?
1619.
Osama Spin Laden, dropping beats like the twin towers.