Short jokes
What’s the difference between Santa and my dad?
Santa got the milk.
What do Donald Trump and a dick have in common?
Liberals can't keep either one out of their mouths.
What did the Turkey say to the other Turkey?
"They forgot the stuffing!"
The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing someone's cast.
What do you do if a woman is choking? Pull out a few inches.
What's the artist imagine something?
Imagine Dragons!
Imagine draggin' these nuts across your face!
We must start a propaganda for baked beans.
Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?
A: They both love naughty souls.
Yo mama so fat I bet that her fart can clear a room in seconds.
Hello everyone! I just came back! How are things going?
How do lions 🦁 like their steak?
"Roar!"
What looks like half a cat?
The other half.
How do you call on a mail man who is carrying rotten fruit?
Come post!
Why do orphans hate Fridays?
Family movie night.
My dad was such a good man. RIP, Osama bin Laden.
How do you trap a shape? You use a trapezoid.
Remember 2000? It was scary.
Someone said to me when it was winter it[’]s time for you to “chill out.” I was like 👁👄👁
Why can't you say hi to a drug addict?
They'll say "yea."
What’s the difference between jelly and jam?
You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.