Short jokes
What did the tree say when spring finally arrived?
"What a re-leaf."
I don't call it suicide. I call it population control.
Ah, what's that on your face? Oh, I forgot, that is your ass. It's so ugly, you stupid-looking bitch!
There aren’t enough gymnastics jokes.
It’s flipping annoying! (Original)
What is the continent that ALWAYS sleeps and sleeps and sleeps and that is so tired that it won’t wake up? Eur-ope.
What did the tree say to the depressed kid?
"Stop hanging around."
What happens when the Twin Towers breathe? They collapse like an orphan with stage 4 cystic fibrosis who lives in the streets of Africa.
Other girls be like, "I want a 6ft guy", meanwhile I want to be 6ft under. 😃👍
When I try to call my friend, I can't get through because my name is Lin Kon, and the operator keeps saying, "Yes, Mr. President."
What do you call dolls in a line?
Barbie queuing.
There will be better punchlines at BlessedBrian’s FUNERAL than in his JOKES.
Who was the first anesthesiologist? Hitler.
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
Poor guy really needs some space.
What is the motto of left-wing authoritarianism?
We don't have one, so you don't need one.
How do you hire a horse? Easy. Just put up a ladder.
You're so bent and ugly that you'd make Elton John go straight!
Dwarfism is a growing problem.
Kidding, that’s not funny. My friend died of dwarfism.
He jumped off a curb stone.
What do you call it when the Edmonton Oilers play against the Nashville Predators? A Diddy Bowl.
Your hairline is so close to Earth, it's 100 million lightyears away!
Q. Who do you call when a baby with anencephaly is born? A. The funeral home.