Short jokes
I liked my life when I first got it... Later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.
I ate a time machine once, it was very time-consuming. Especially when I went back four seconds.
Grammar: It's the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
What is the similarity between a joke and food?
Some people just don't get them!
Do your buses run on time?
No, they run on diesel.
When the school shooter is just about to leave your classroom, and you think you're in the clear, but the Down syndrome kid says, "Goodbye."
He's not really dead, his update failed.
Trump is going too far.
He deported a printer because it didn't have papers.
Why do people want emo grass? Because it'll cut itself.
What do you call an Indian gymnast? Balance Singh.
Why do tampons have strings? So you can floss your teeth when you’re done eating.
What do you call a terrorist in a kids' swimming pool?
A bath bomb.
Why did Sally fall out of the swing?
She had no arms.
Why couldn’t she get up?
Because she had no friends.
KFC proudly presents the kid fryer meal where our fillets are made out of kids. 😎 1 like = more kids in our fryer.
I decided to visit Saudi Arabia with my girlfriend.
She and I learned they celebrate Pride month by throwing stones.
Why do Black people dip their Oreos in water?
Because daddy never came back home with the milk.
A little known rule: You cannot be circumcised if you are running for political office in the US.
You need to be a complete dick.
Why does Batman’s mask only cover half of his face?
So the police can see that he’s white.
Why are gay people so bad at math? Because they can't multiply.
Your mama so ugly that even Rick Astley had to give her up.