Short jokes

Roses are red. Violets are too. You better run, I’m following you!

I was beefing with a dude in a wheelchair, so I took his wheelchair and threw it across the street and told him, "Walk it off, you will be fine."

If I'm still single by Christmas, Santa won't be the only one jumping off a roof.

Your mom is so fat that if she sits on top of a gas station, she will lower the prices.

Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"

Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"

Dr. Fauci would be surprised to know that R. Kelly didn't catch COVID-19.

But since COVID is 19, it's too old for him.

What's the difference between Freddie Mercury and Princess Diana?

Freddie lived long enough to be a Queen.

I get so many things stuck in my head, though, unfortunately none of them were a bullet.

What do you call a white guy with a 10 inch cock?

Asleep. Because that motherfucker's dreaming.

Chuck Norris can drift with a horse.

I offered to share a meal with a homeless person once, but he said, "Piss off and buy your own!"

A: She looks good when she opens her hair. 😮

B: You will look good when you open your wallet. 👛

Someone who was working in the tower must've put their phone on plane mode.

Helen Keller deaf-initely faked it!

What is an Emo's favorite way to Cosplay?

Dress up as a piñata!

"You the bomb!" No, "you the bomb!" A compliment in America, an argument in Afghanistan.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she went trick or treating on Halloween 2016, the clowns thought she was their supreme leader.

We all know that Lincoln and Kennedy are the most open-minded presidents in the world.

Yo mama so fat that when I banged her in the jacuzzi, there was a level 8 tsunami.

Pickup lines in 2022 are like: "Are you Russia? Because your bombs are so big!"