Short jokes

How is slavery different from Pokémon?

There are different types of Pokémon.

Why is the bottom of the sea so dark?

Because Black people can’t swim.

What do you call a Chinese person with no legs?

Lim Ping.

Don't pick flat chests because they will turn their backs on you twice.

Mum: If your friend jumped off a cliff, would you?

Me: Oh yeah, no doubt my friend wouldn't even have to jump first.

How did the gay girl die? Homicide.

Roses are red, Violets are twisted, You bend over, You're about to get fisted.

Yo mama is so fat, that when I unfollowed her on Instagram, my phone got 1 GB of storage.

Crappy joke warning: How does Spongebob have fun? He smokes seaweed.

I told my friend that if he ever wants 50% off something at a store, just to take me with him and scan my wrist.

Men: "I like dogs."

Women: "I like cats."

Chinese: "Food is food."

A necrophiliac woman goes over to her friend's house after hooking up.

"Was it hung?" her friend asks.

"No, he was shot."

A: She looks good when she opens her hair. 😮

B: You will look good when you open your wallet. 👛

Abortion clinics are kind of like NAZI gas chambers. Less people come out than go in.

Dr. Fauci would be surprised to know that R. Kelly didn't catch COVID-19.

But since COVID is 19, it's too old for him.

What's the difference between Freddie Mercury and Princess Diana?

Freddie lived long enough to be a Queen.

I get so many things stuck in my head, though, unfortunately none of them were a bullet.

If I'm still single by Christmas, Santa won't be the only one jumping off a roof.

Helen Keller deaf-initely faked it!

I don't get this. Why is it I go to an orphanage and all of a sudden they said I used to be the cutest baby there?