Short jokes
What do you call a porn star that always goes back for more?
Craven Morehead.
Why didn't anyone react when the king farted? -- It was a noble gas.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.
Your mom is so fat that if she sits on top of a gas station, she will lower the prices.
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. Orphanages are really fun to work at.
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500m of a school zone?
Because he's dead.
Why do American guns only have 30 rounds in the clip? Because that’s the average class size.
What's the difference between a six-year-old and a submarine?
I've never been inside a submarine.
Yo mama so fat that when I banged her in the jacuzzi, there was a level 8 tsunami.
Roses are red, peanuts are tan. I am joining the Ku Klux Klan.
Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
A: Either way they'll kill your dog.
When Santa asks you what you want for Christmas, then says "ho ho ho," say, "Yes, please."
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who plays basketball?
Dribble.
What’s better than winning a medal at the Paralympics?
Being able to walk.
Roses are red. Violets are too. You better run, I’m following you!
I made a 3D game about a depressed, self-harming goth. It's mostly unskippable cutscenes.
How is slavery different from Pokémon?
There are different types of Pokémon.
Why is the bottom of the sea so dark?
Because Black people can’t swim.
What do you call a Chinese person with no legs?
Lim Ping.
Don't pick flat chests because they will turn their backs on you twice.