Short jokes
My dad died the other day, but I was able to hear his last words: "Son, are you still holding the ladder?"
Whenever my grandparents apologize, I say "forgive and forget". They are really obedient.
You meet the guy who invented 0, what do you tell him? Thanks for nothing!
Looks like I lost an electron, I should keep a better ion them.
On the lines of "I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous,"
I'm dying to live forever!
Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? -- One. They are efficient and don't have humor.
You know what they say about dark humor: it hits harder than a drunk parent.
What do you call a porn star that always goes back for more?
Craven Morehead.
"what's that on your wrist?"
"I'm a cutting board. duh"
What are the differences between Santa and Joe Biden?
The kids actually want to sit on Santa’s lap.
Whoever took my anti-depressant pills,
I hope you're fucking happy.
My friend once said my opinion didn't matter. I said, "Why did you call me a female?"
What do you call a bad amputation?
A rip-off.
Why didn't anyone react when the king farted? -- It was a noble gas.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Trick question, feminists don't change anything.
What’s another name for cumming inside a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
Carrie Underwood and ChatGPT are not the same. ChatGPT is able to create a soul.
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500m of a school zone?
Because he's dead.