Short jokes
Why are there no good Indian actors? Because all the good ones are trying to get your bank details over the phone.
Necrophilia in Alabama is fun for the whole family, even grandma.
What do you call a pessimistic Mexican?
A Mexican't.
My dad posted a picture of his condom challenge fail to his social media - it was a picture of me.
I ate a time machine once, it was very time-consuming. Especially when I went back four seconds.
I liked my life when I first got it... Later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.
Why wouldn’t Mr. Bee 🐝 push Ms. Bee 🐝 away?
Because he loves his honey.
What planet did Hitler hate the most?
Jewpiter.
What is the one thing cripples can't do? ... Stand-up comedy.
What kind of chocolate does a lesbian hate?
Ones that contain nuts.
Osama's aim was horrible. One of his angry birds missed and hit a field in Pennsylvania.
Imagine failing to commit suicide; you might as well go kill yourself.
A lot of people ask why I only make jokes about Paul Walker and no one else.
Because they didn’t have as big of an impact as him.
I was going to log a pun about trees, but you wooden understand it.
Me telling a depression and suicide joke in front of my friends.
My friends: ........ Oh wait, I don't have any, so nothing to worry about here.
Iran: We can beat the USA.
Japan is typing...
What's the difference between a priest and SpongeBob?
SpongeBob asks if you're ready first.
Grammar: It's the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
What is the similarity between a joke and food?
Some people just don't get them!
Do your buses run on time?
No, they run on diesel.