Balance jokes
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. -- A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Why did the accountant fall off his bicycle?
Because he lost his balance!
My bank loves me. They told me my credit card balance is outstanding.
I asked my friend what happened to him?
His balance shifted.
My job is so amazing.
Today a man asked me to check his balance, so I pushed him over. His balance isn't good.
A guy starts texting a cute girl and asks her to give him her phone number so he can call her. The girl says, "OK, but you have to transfer mobile balance to my number. Then I am gonna be your girlfriend and will meet you somewhere." He transfers her the balance and calls her, but it turns out the girl was actually a guy making him a fool. He blocked him.
The next day, he was very angry about himself being a fool, so he thought he'd do the same. He makes a fake girl account and starts texting with some random guy, and then he asks that guy to send him balance. Suddenly, his father came into his bedroom and asked, "Son, can you send me some balance? I am gonna send you cash after sometime." That guy looks at his father with suspicious eyes, and then he calls that random number. Suddenly his father's phone starts ringing......
Friend: My bike doesn't have a kick stand, so it can't stand up.
Me: Nah, it's just two tired.
So I went to the bank and a lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her over.
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.
The twin towers were just tryna take after the leaning tower of Pisa, but they lost their balance and fucked it up.
Your hairline be lookin' like my negative bank account balance -1,000,000.
What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?
A unicycle can only take one person at a time.
So today an old lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her... Hhah.
A man entered the bank branch and asked the teller to withdraw his account balance. The teller debited his account and gave the man all his money. Then the man counted the money and asked the teller to deposit it back into his account.
The teller asked the man why he withdrew the money and deposited it back. Then the man replied, "I wanted to make sure all my money is safe and tallies with my records."
Lol
If rape was about power, then my electric bill would be a positive balance.
A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall.
The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty.
After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks.
Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!"
When a person asked to see her balance at a bank, they pushed him over.
An old lady was low on money because she had spent all of her money on clothes.
So she decided to go to the bank. She walked up to the guy at the desk. She asked if he could check her balance. He asked a few questions to the old lady, like her weight and her height. He asked her if she had done any exercise recently. She was very confused. She got angry and asked the man again to check her balance. So he stood up, walked next to her and pushed her over. He came to the conclusion that she had a low balance.
An old lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her off the edge without knowing it was her cash she wanted to check, so I died to help her!