An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?" The student replied, "It is obviously past."
The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar...
It was tense.
English is weird. -- It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
Grammar: It's the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? -- A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
Someone at school judged my grammar. I judged theirs by the terms "school" and "rifle range" being mixed up the next day.
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. Why? I don't know y.
One day Little Johnny's class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?" Little Mary says, "The teacher is very intelligent." The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?" Little Suzie says, "They are very fashionable." The teacher says, "Johnny, why don't you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence." Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy 'Darling how does my dictate' "
Why do Pirates say "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!" ? First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander: "The canons be ready Captain!" "Are" says the Captain (correcting their grammar) "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!" they all exclaimed !!
If life gives you melons, you're proababli dyslexic
I am only familiar with 25 letters of the alphabet
I font know y
Is butt cheeks one word or should I spread them apart
It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.
There r 3 things wong wit dis world.
1. Spelin
B. Maths
why do orphans not know how to spell.
because know one likes them dump people.🤭🤡
Get noob
I am trying to re comment something that used to be on here, but is no longer on here. Here are some rules to make a good joke: 1: don’t say “my life” 2: proof read your joke, and make sure people can read it/have good grammar in it 3: And don’t re post things (although this last one is hippocritical because this was me trying to repost something but it is still a good rule to go by)
What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws? -- It was given two consecutive sentences.
"Sir, we're mining too many useless mineral ores." Hitler: "Mine less, then."
Grammar Nazi bursts in: "MINE FEWER."
Hitler looks over: "Yes?"
In kindergarten we were starting to learn how to use "big kid words." On Monday, the teacher asked everyone to share what they did over the weekend, but we had to use big kid words. Eventually it got to my turn, and the teacher asked me what I did over the summer. I told her I read a book. She asked me what book, and to remember to use "big kid words." I'll never forget the horrified look on her face when I replied with "Winnie the Shit"
