Short jokes
I saw a little kid on their bike before. So I ran home to see if it was mine. Mine was still chained up, so we’re good.
What's the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus's birth date.
What is the similarity between a joke and food?
Some people just don't get them!
What's the difference between Tyler and a rooster? A rooster says, "cock-a-doodle-doo," Tyler says, "any cock will do."
Why did Yoda go to jail for rape?
He doesn't get consent; he just uses the force.
A retard won a break-dancing competition. All he did was go to get a drink.
I was raped by a group of mimes. They did unspeakable things to me.
Stephen Hawking just died. Have they tried rebooting him to factory settings?
What do you call a sophisticated American?
A Canadian.
A skeleton goes sky diving. Doesn't come back in one piece.
My dog is pregnant. I'm gonna be a... I don't know?
Ohhh, an owner.
What's in a Michael Jackson hotdog?
A 50-year-old piece of meat.
A 12-year-old bun.
Yo mamma so stupid when a robber stole her TV, she ran after him saying, "You forgot the remote!"
Why doesn’t Pakistan have any football teams?
Every corner they get, they open a shop on it!
It’s all fun and games at “take your kid to work day” until you realize your dad is a suicide bomber.
My grandad was shocked to learn that lightning can strike in the same place twice.
I'm jealous of my LED lights, 'cause they're hanging from the ceiling and I'm not.
I love murder shows... wish me luck cause I'm kinda hoping to be on one one day.
What's the difference between meat and fish?
If you beat your fish, it'll die.
Guy spills milk on me. I say, "It's okay, we all make mistakes sometimes, but apparently your mom made a big one."