Standard Jokes

I hate these double standards.

If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".

yo mom is so fat that when should standard on a scale she broke it lol

I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."

DIS IS NUT FOR KIDS

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how do people with hydrocephalus wear standard-size helmets?

more : @gtx666ti

Once asked If I played Scrabble being dyslexic I asked Is It was the standard version or the deluxe dyslexic version

Sans: I like eating ketchup, don't believe me? It's ASRIEL as it gets! UT Sans to UT pap: You FORGHETTIE the spaghetti!!! Ink sans: umm lust? That's INKAPPROPRIATE! Fell sans: I hate these double standards...if you burn a body at a crematoriom you're doing "a good job" do it at home and your "destroying evidence." Error sans: every time you make a typo, the errorists win..

Wanna know what's funny? Scott's low joke standards.

A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a beer. After 10 shots of vodka, the guy had, the bartender figured if he talked to him, he would tell him everything as he’s not sober.

Bartender: Hey, that’s some nice jewellery you have there. It must be expensive.

Guy: Yeah, this bracelet is made of 100% diamond. It cost me like 250 thousand dollars. What a bargain, eh?

Bartender: Seems like you make a lot of money. What do you do for a living?

Guy: I take cash from the bank and don’t give it back. It takes a lot of moral courage to rob banks to provide for my family.

Bartender: What? If that’s the case, then why do you even pay for the jewellery or this beer? You’re a hypocrite, that’s what you are, justifying robbing people as a living.

Guy: Hypocrite? You’re right. I'm living with double standards to justify my actions.

(5 seconds later)

Guy: Aye, open the cash register and give me your wallet or I will blow your fucking brains out. I fucking hate hypocrites and I will not gonna be one of em!