Standard Jokes

g and g jokes

I hate these double standards.

if you burn a body at a crematorium you’re "doing a good job" if you do it at home you’re “destroying evidence”

in Programming

How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb? - None, they declare darkness to be the new standard.


I hate these double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium and your doing a good thing, burn a body at home and your destroying evidence

in Darkness

I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you’re “being a respectful friend.” Do it at home and you’re “destroying evidence.”

f... me
in Yo mama

yo mom is so fat that when should standard on a scale she broke it lol

I have double standards, burn a body at a crematorium and you’re being a respectful friend; do it at home and you’re destroying evidence.


how do people with hydrocephalus wear standard-size helmets?

more : @gtx666ti

in Darkness

Sans: I like eating ketchup, don’t believe me? It’s ASRIEL as it gets! UT Sans to UT pap: You FORGHETTIE the spaghetti!!! Ink sans: umm lust? That’s INKAPPROPRIATE! Fell sans: I hate these double standards…if you burn a body at a crematoriom you’re doing “a good job” do it at home and your “destroying evidence.” Error sans: every time you make a typo, the errorists win…

Peener Beener 8)
in Adoption

Wanna know whats funny? Scott’s low joke standards.


A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a beer. After 10 shots of vodka they guy had, the bartender figured if he talked to him he would tell him everything as he’s not sober.

Bartender: Hey that’s some nice jewellery you have there it must be expensive.

Guy: Yeah this bracelet is made of 100% diamond. It costs me like 250 thousand dollars. What a bargain eh.

Bartender: Seems like you make a lot of money. What you do for a living?

Guy: I take cash from the bank and don’t give it back. It takes a lot of moral courage to rob banks to provide for my family.

Bartender: What? If that’s the case then why do you even pay for the jewellery or this beer. You’re a hypocrite that’s what you are, justifying robbing people as a living.

Guy: Hypocrite? You’re right I m living with double standards to justify my actions.

(5 seconds later)

Guy: Aye open the cash register and give me your wallet or I will blow your fucking brains out. I fucking hate hypocrites and I will not gonna be one of em!