Short jokes
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One reads, the other breeds.
What’s one thing that comes up at the worst possible time and ruins your day?
A period.
Why do orphans love a room of mirrors?\n\nBecause they're surrounded by loved ones!
Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?
Someone told me I looked gay today. I told him that my clothes just came out of the closet this morning.
When should you discourage your husband from exercising and dieting? When he wants to fit in your clothes!
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was black.
Did you hear? There's a new fast food restaurant coming: Jacko in the Box.
What do you call a disabled person that has no legs and likes being alone?
Leaving, walking.
Beethoven to Chris Doemges: "What instrument do you play outside in the Arctic at -12 degrees Celsius?"
Doemges: "Probably the shiver..."
What do birds and planes have in common?
They both fly into building windows.
Your hairline go so far back it remember the Civil War, ugly ahh.
Q. Why did the pimp buy a journal?
A. To organize his thots.
Why do black people have nightmares? Because the last person who had a dream got shot.
If Pete and Chasten Buttigieg had a baby, it would be a turd covered in semen.
A man asks God, "Hello God, why did you make my wife so dumb?"
God replies, "So she would love you..."
I don't beat up midgets.
That would be punching down.
You ever try sexting with AI? Every time I type “I’m coming,” it replies, “Coming where? Need directions?”
Q. What do you call anal sex with a politician?
A. A backroom deal.
I have no problem with prostitution.
It's like an Air BnB for your dick.