Short jokes
I thought a waitress said to me, "You're good looking." In fact, she was asking if I'd like some pudding.
Repeat after me: Die angle; die angle; sweetie. Angels don't die! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:
"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."
I didn't break my back in the accident, thankfully.
But I can break yours today, hopefully.
What do you call an Indian in a shower?
A cleaner.
What’s the difference between milk and the air?
At least the air will always be there for me.
An orphan comes up to me and says, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."
Why did the T-Rex not clap when you won a prize?
Because it's dead.
Your forehead is so big, the earth split in half!
I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.
Sam's mum is so fat, when she fell down the stairs, I thought EastEnders finished!
How did a man know his wife died?
Dishis start piling up.
Lions = gay pride.
You're so fat, you have your own gravitational pull.
Your hairline left you because you were too ugly for your push back hairline.
Your hairline is pushed back; we can see what you are thinking of.
The tables in my class are straight, but I can’t say the same thing for your hairline.
911 happened a while ago and it's slowly losing its fame.
Time for a remake!
If you tried to look at your hairline in a mirror, it would shatter into 100,000,000,000 pieces.
The dear God created the man.
Then he created woman.
When he then saw what he had done, he took care of tobacco and alcohol.