Short jokes
A chicken walks into a bar.
He orders Dr. Pepper.
He then lays a good scrambled egg.
There's nothing else that can beat up dog.
What's up, dog?
Just my depression!
Child: "Mom, what's an 'orgasm'?"
Mom: "I don't know, dear. Try asking your father."
A blind man once told me he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward to. Well, let's just say that I see his point.
What do dogs do when they lose their tail?
They go to the retail store.
Okay, so turns out the toasters are not waterproof...
An autistic man walks into a bra.
Life has ups and downs, and they had downs.
Where did Sally go during the summer? Swimming.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Who.
Who who.
You sound like an owl.
What should you use to battle a T-Rex?
A dino-sword.
I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.
Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
Why is the number 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
Q: What do you call a skeleton that goes to school but doesn't do any work?
A: Lazy bones.
Why was Stephen Hawking disappointed when he got his Christmas present? It was singing lessons.
One of the students reported a school shooting.
That fucking snitch...
What do you call a field of masturbating cattle?
Beef strokin' off.
People are like tequila glasses,
you gotta shoot them down fast.
How many animals can you fit in a pair of underpants?
A. A cock and a few hairs (hares).
People need to stop taking life so seriously. After all, no one gets out alive!