Short jokes
What happens if an Asian walks into a wall with a boner?
They hit their nose on the wall.
What do you call someone with one arm and no legs?
Names.
Not all self-harmers are emo, but all emos self-harm.
Why don't Amish people water ski?
Because their horses would drown.
Where was Stephen Hawking during the house fire?
The top of the stairs.
How many times do you tickle an octopus to get it to laugh?
Ten-tickles!
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
The "M" and "D" in "orphan" stands for Mom and Dad.
There was a blackout in my neighborhood last night. The police told us to stay inside until they shot him.
What's a brother and sister from Alabama's favorite sex position?
The cowgirl.
Five out of six people agree that Russian Roulette is safe.
Dear clothing websites, if it's out of stock, DO NOT ADVERTISE IT!
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?
Thanks for coming!
What did the twin tower say to the other?
"I need to catch this plane."
What does LMAO mean? Launching Missiles At Orphanages.
Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can’t defeat cancer!
You know Imagine Dragons?
Imagine draggin' these balls.
What is 3 feet tall and sits at the bottom of children's beds?
A: Garry Glitter's boots.
What kind of trumpet are you playing?
An "Donald Trumpet"!
Donald Trump didn't build a wall because he likes going to islands to touch little girls.