Short jokes
What does a Jamaican guy say to an Asian?
Poke me, mon.
Normal people: I'm my own nationality.
Michael Jackson: Click here to change nationality.
A kid got a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. He was still unhappy.
Why?
The kid had no legs.
How many genders are there?
One, women are property.
My dad is Al-Qaeda, and he even took a plane trip to New York in 2001.
What do you call a hospital that's flooded with vegetable soup?
What's the difference between having sex with my girlfriend and a baby?
I don't have a girlfriend.
What does a South African Batman wear? A cape.
Go punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.
When someone says, "Jesus," I say, "Bitch, where?"
You're so damn ugly that the robbers only go into your house to close the blinds.
How many wives does Santa have?
Ho Ho Ho!
What's the difference between a million dollars and a million dead babies?
I don't have a million dollars laying around my house.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock knock?
Who's there?
The chicken!
Why did the midget not go to bed?
He couldn't reach the bed.
What do you call a retarded fruit?
Mentally in-pear-ed.
Why does a giraffe need such a long neck?
Because its head is so far away from its body.
What's the difference between a little boy and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when you put your meat in it.
Last time Kenny ate a vegetable, he got banned from his mom's nursing home.