Short jokes
What’s the name of OceanGate’s next submarine?
Judging by the breathing conditions on their subs, I bet they’ll call it the "George Floyd."
Black people are living proof we evolved from monkeys.
What would Donald Trump be if he was Black?
Shot in the head.
Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. And your mom is, too.
Why did the football player go to the bank?
To get his quarter back.
What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson’s dreams every night?
Hanson.
If a girl jumps off a cliff, some people call it suicide and some call it girl power, but I call it BULLSHIT.
When I was in middle school, I was kidnapped by a terrorist organization.
Al-gebra.
Are suicide bombers taught properly how to fly, or...
Are they just given a quick crash course?
A drum rolled down a hill. Ba-dum-tsssh!
I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a fret.
Math puns are the first SINE of madness! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
What did one brain cell say to the other brain cell?
"I think I feel a connection!"
No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.
How does an artist fill in a CV?
He draws on experience.
What is a tree's favorite thing to drink?
Root beer.
Me holding a new cat: Say hi to my little friend!
My friends: Hi to my little friend!
Sand under docks is very resilient. It doesn’t give in to pier pressure.
What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and a lizard?
There is no difference.