Short jokes
Why is 3 such a helpful number? Because 3 helped out on a science project 4 5!
I'm so lonely, even the alphabet says "Hi."
JK.
I wonder if Stephen Hawking heard the song "Gangster's Paradise." Oh, shit, he can't!
Why did the chipmunk swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry.
What looks like peanut butter and jelly, and makes a woman scream?
Afterbirth.
What’s one thing that a gay person is scared of?
A gay guy that’s straight!
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "uno, dos..." and poof! He disappears without a tres.
A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.
I tried to think of how lighting works.
Then it struck me!
What’s the difference between a tire and three-hundred-sixty-five used condoms?
One’s a good year; the other’s a great year!
Why are elephants scared of computers?
Because of the mouse.
Déjà Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
Guess who I saw at school today?
Everyone I looked at. loooooooool
What happens when you have a kid with Tourette's and a hair trigger?
The Las Vegas shooting.
Well, I'm off to the orphanage to tell yo mama jokes.
What do you get if you talk to a Down syndrome person face to face at close distance?
Soaked...
What did the sun say to the Earth?
"Am I hot?"
What happens when you mess with a farmer? You get the whole ranch.
What does a Jamaican guy say to an Asian?
Poke me, mon.
Normal people: I'm my own nationality.
Michael Jackson: Click here to change nationality.