Short jokes
What hangs low?
Balls.
Why didn't they just switch him on and off again, or switch his batteries?
Why can't vampires tell jokes right? All their jokes just SUCK.
What was Beethoven's favorite insect?
The bee! :0
Did you hear the one about the deaf person?
Me: No.
That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.
Vegetarian: I prefer plants.
Herbivore: I just like food.
Cannibal: I'm a people person.
Why did the skeleton not listen to the rules?
He was "bone tiba wild."
Knock knock.
"Cow goes."
No, silly, cows go moo!
Why did the boy put a chicken 🐔 in his garden?
He wanted to grow an eggplant. 😂
Random kid: Yo mama so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Orphan: What's a mama?
Random kid: *shook*
What do you call an orphan fish?
Self-ish.
This isn't a joke; I just want to spread awareness of anatidaephobia.
Why didn’t the girl like stairs?
They were always up to something.
I'm dead! 😂💀💀
Why is my dick like a balloon?
The more you blow it, the bigger it gets.
Me holding a new cat: Say hi to my little friend!
My friends: Hi to my little friend!
What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and a lizard?
There is no difference.
What is a tree's favorite thing to drink?
Root beer.
Sand under docks is very resilient. It doesn’t give in to pier pressure.
Who do the United States owe trillions of dollars to?
Jew-piter.