I am always high, welcome to bipolar disorder. LMAO. (Don't bother to like or comment, I just had to say this.)
Short Jokes
I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. 🤣
I was fuming when I lost my job as a window cleaner, like who built the Twin Towers anyway?
Doom is eternal.
When you get suspended from school for giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday.
What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common?
Their last big hit was "Fire on the Mountain."
Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"
Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.
Forrest Gump: Who's your favorite Lord of the Rings character?
Lieutenant Dan: Legaless.
I must have at least 87 years of bad luck; every time I look in the mirror, it breaks!
What do you call a male robot who wants to be a girl?
A trans-former.
Roses are red.
Your passports are blue.
Now go stand over there,
In that very long queue!
How do adults like their cookies like their orphans?
Homemade.
I like dicks... sporting goods.
Women be like don't tell me what to wear, proceeds to tell men what to wear.
Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...
NASA stands for "Nobody Already Seen Astronauts."
When you're having a normal day at school, but then...
"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"
When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.
Why can’t orphans watch Netflix?
Because they don't know what age rate they are...
Are you the Lusitania 'cause I wanna fire a torpedo into you?
