Short jokes
Adolf Hitler + Vladimir Putin = Vladolf Putler.
What do you call a female Michael Jackson? She she.
Knock knock, who's there? God.
God who? NO, you idiot, there is no God. I am your father and you have locked me out of my own house!
Today is Good Friday, so there will be no meat for us to eat. Instead, we have to do what lesbians do and eat fish.
Time to go to New York to visit the Twin Towers.
They’re already getting closer.
Why is every number scared of 7?
Because 7 "ate" 9.
What is black, smells bad, and long? Line to social services.
My grandma unplugged the internet cable, so I unplugged her life support.
I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick. She still isn't talking to me.
When I was in middle school, I was kidnapped by a terrorist organization.
Al-gebra.
What did the terrorist do when his kidneys failed?
Dial-ISIS!
Are suicide bombers taught properly how to fly, or...
Are they just given a quick crash course?
The second coming came and went. Jesus believed he was a Christian; therefore, he could never be himself.
What's the difference between the Queen's death and Princess Diana's death? The Queen died in peace, not pieces.
What does one boob say to the other boob?
If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.
Why do orphans hate Christmas?
Father Christmas isn’t a thing.
He installed a hacked client on his MC server called cancer.exe.
..., I'm gay.
A. No
B. Maybe
C. Leave blank
D. Yes
Mom, can I be a firefighter when I grow up?
Mom: Oh, you won't grow up, Caillou.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?