Short jokes
What’s the difference between an emo kid and a dead pig?
Suicide squad.
Like if you think oily men are hot.
It's okay, you had socks on :)
Bro, I love hanging out with white people, it's either we play Yahtzee, or we playin' Nazi.
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would the title be?
Mine would be "Alien Vs. Predator."
What does an Asian doorbell sound like?
"Wing wong wung wang, wong wang wing wong!"
My girlfriend has a huge crush on Jupiter, I mean she fell HARD!
My doctor called me a "psychopath." How dare he?!? He'll pay for this!
How do you tell if a blond is really stupid?
Put a scratch and sniff on a bleach pod.
Why did Joe Biden go to the hospital? Because he couldn't stop Putin.
What did Trump say to Ukraine when Putin bombed them?
"It was Antifa!!!! And China!!!!"
Me: I just came home from Africa, and guess what I saw.
Friend: I don't know.
Me: A black market.
Omnom.
What does Nemo have in common with my dad?
They both can't be found.
"Hee hee touch my pp."
As tragic as school shootings are, it's also a quick way to a late-term abortion.
The inventor of the umbrella was just going to call it "brella," but he hesitated.
"Kidnapping is just surprise adoption, congrats! You are now all my children! Just hop into the portal that leads to the Lust Ring in Hell!"
What the fuck is wrong with people?
Uber driver: .........
Me: .........
Uber driver: .........
Me: 5 stars.