Short jokes
What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and a lizard?
There is no difference.
"Knock knock?"
"Mustache."
"I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later!"
Why did Sally fail her final exam?
Because she had nothing written down.
Hot shingles in your neighborhood wanting to get nailed.
Why is my dick like a balloon?
The more you blow it, the bigger it gets.
That camping trip was in-tents.
Why did the stoner cross the road?
He got so wasted, he thought he was a chicken.
What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.
Somebody told another person that they would meet at the crack of dawn.
Let's just say Dawn got very mad.
Why was the giraffe late to work?
Because it got caught in a giraffic jam.
What do you call an orphan fish?
Self-ish.
Where did Stephen Hawking go after he died?
FNAF Sister Location.
My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.
A baby seal walks into a club...
Why were the cherries 🍒 crying?
Because their parents were in a jam.
My friend looks like a homeless, thanks for the jokes.
#takemebacksophie
I want a job cleaning mirrors. I could really see myself doing it!
Why did the elephant cross the road? It didn't see the cars.
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.