Short jokes
"Have you driven through Dealey Plaza? It will blow your mind."
~John F. Kennedy
What do Madeline McCann and a submarine have in common?
Both are at the bottom of the ocean full of seamen!
Babe, I'm breaking up with you.
Why? I'm turning 18 tomorrow.
What do the people in heaven that died on the Titanic call the Titanic? The Dietanic.
"Ukraine be like Escape to Witch Mountain!"
Mpreg is hot af.
I love jacking off to mpreg.
Why did the orphan dig six feet under?
To find his parents.
Orphans are just wannabe children. They want a family.
Official orgasm donor.
I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."
If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.
Helen Keller once dated a brick wall.
My stepdad has stage 4 cancer and is going through chemotherapy... at least he saves money on shampoo and conditioner.
Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves?
They never look down on anyone.
Why do humans hate aliens?
Because Fortnite took them out of the game, and I want aliens back in Fortnite!
What is Jesus’s Favorite Exercise?
CrossFit.
You know how divers jump off a cliff and land in the water well...
Emos do that too, but when they jump, they don't land in the water.
What do McDonald's and priests have in common?
They both shove their meat into 10-year-old buns.
What is Instagram called in USA?
Instaounce.
What show do gay men watch?
"2 and a Half Men!"
Lol at this one fellas!