Short jokes
Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.
Potato.
John saw a Gay in a wheelchair.
"I didn't know a man could be a fruit and a Vegetable!"
What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
Cancer.
Why can't Cleopatra ride a bicycle?
Because she's dead.
What’s the difference between someone who is high on the spectrum [and] low on the spectrum? At least I can write this joke.
Joke.
Cancer
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
"Sweet victory" fans: Fuck the NFL. They should be disbanded!
Harvey Weinstein: I raped five girls, and the NFL was one of them.
My cock, lmao.
What happens if an Asian walks into a wall with a boner?
They hit their nose on the wall.
What do you call someone with one arm and no legs?
Names.
Where was Stephen Hawking during the house fire?
The top of the stairs.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
How many times do you tickle an octopus to get it to laugh?
Ten-tickles!
Why don't Amish people water ski?
Because their horses would drown.
The "M" and "D" in "orphan" stands for Mom and Dad.
There was a blackout in my neighborhood last night. The police told us to stay inside until they shot him.
Five out of six people agree that Russian Roulette is safe.
What's the difference between your mom in bed and Biden in the presidential race?
Your mom finishes.