How many altar boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how dark the priests' basement is.
Short Jokes
What's the difference between a hooker and a burrito?
I don't eat burritos.
The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!
Did you hear the joke about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
Man with cancer: How much time do I have left?
Doctor: Ten.
Man: Weeks? Months? Days?
Doctor: Nine, eight, seven...
I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.
You're so skinny, you use chapstick as deodorant.
I beat up my twin friends with a plane.
You know how there were like... two towers. I had so much fun playing Jenga in those planes! I WON!!!!!
Last Christmas was awesome, the whole family came.
Who made the most money from 9/11? The US government.
What did one tower say to the other? "Damn, you looking fly!"
Why do orphans like pedos? Because they have someone to call "daddy."
I heard this was a really popular funeral home. People are dying to get in.
I would tell you a time travel joke, but you did not like it.
Which word is also called for women's prison?
"Pridaughter."
Your hairline is so far back that my father couldn't even reach the store in time before it grew!
This anorexic girl wanted to fight me. I told her that I would roast her, but she didn't have any meat.
What goes up and down and needs two people?
A seesaw.
Is your ass jealous of the shit that came out of your fucking mouth?
