Walmart jokes
Where do walls shop?--Walmart.
If I went to Walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they're barcodes too.
Why did Michael Jackson rush to Walmart?
He heard boys' pants were half off!
In Syria, there are no Walmarts, only Targets.
Your mom's so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices!
Me: tries to scan self at Walmart. I can't scan myself, wanna know why?
Alfred: Why?
Me: because I'm worthless... =)
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on Walmart, the prices went down.
Next time at Walmart, I'm going to scan my wrist. They are basically barcodes.
I bought a gun from Walmart today. I guess they knew what I was going to do with it, because when I pulled the gun on the cashier, I realized the firing mechanism was in reverse.
Q: Why aren't there any Walmarts in Afghanistan?
A: Because there's a Target on every corner.
Why are there no Walmarts in Palestine?
There are Targets everywhere.
You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.
I can go to Walmart and scan my wrists. It'll say "antidepressants." ✨
When you're walking through the garden section at Walmart and you hear your grandpa screaming, "They're in the fucking trees!"
Why does Michael Jackson like to shop at Walmart?
Little boys' pants are half off!
Five little monkeys jumping on a bed.
One fell off and bumped his head. Mamma called Walmart, and Walmart said,
"We will give you a replacement!"
Why doesn't Iran have any Walmarts?
Because they have a Target at every corner.
In Israel, they don't have Walmarts; they only have Targets.
Imagine if you were an Arabic person shopping at Walmart with your son.
Now imagine he got lost and you had to start calling out his name.
...Now imagine his name is "Allahu Akbar."
Did Walmart take the Juneteenth ice cream off the shelf?
It was only 3/5 full.