Short jokes
Blind people driving on the highway would be the world's biggest, and shortest game of bumper cars!
What God do rats worship?
Cheesus.
What do you call a tall terrorist?
Osama Bin Laden.
If I like having sex and get with 15 people, are they getting sexified?
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
What do you call the bell at the Asian restaurant?
I'm ta ping it, some ting won.
Why don’t orphans live in villages?
Because they will get abandoned.
Why do Emos always wear black like ninjas?
Because they're always cutting.
Her: "Land of the free".
Me: *fat*
Her: What do you mean?
Me: It's not fat-free.
Hitler only wanted peace.
A piece of Poland, a piece of Czechoslovakia, and a piece of Turkey.
Your mum is so fat, when I see her, I get depressed.
I make weed disappear, what's your superpower?
What kind of cold flu do the Japanese get? The Koflu.
Turn the comments into a school shootout ;)
How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your parents.
"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."
- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*
"If you want to win swiftly, camp the enemies' spawn."
- Sun Tzu
"If we don’t have a strategy, then the enemy will never know our strategy."
-Sun Tzu, Art of War.
Why do orphans like stealing things?
They wanted to have company.