Short jokes
Is it just me, or are you the prettiest person I've seen today?
Hit 'em with the 1, 2, Jeffery Dahmer!
Chat date for Tenya and Jordan.
What do you call the mushy stuff between sharks' teeth?
A slow swimmer...
What is a duck's favorite drink to sip on? Duck wine.
Why was the sea sad? Because it was blue.
Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled!
Why can’t orphans win trophies?
Because they can’t take them home.
Why did the actor fall through the floor?
He was just going through a stage!
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Interrupting cow." "Interrupting cow wh-" "MOO!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ken.
Ken who?
Can you walk the dog for me?
How do you make an apple turnover?
You push it down a hill.
How do mountains get big?
They go trick-or-treating!
I wondered as the rock in the sky got bigger and bigger, then it hit the bottom of the Earth, and... "explosion!"
Why did the boy study for his math test in a tree?
'Cause he wanted higher grades.
Why do depressed people want to kill themselves?
To be loved on the news show for 10 minutes.
What type of sandals do frogs wear?
Open-toed.
How do homeless people move where they're living?
They pick up their box and walk away.
My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.
Why do orphans play Minecraft? Because they have no home.