Short jokes
My four conditions:
1. I need coffee.
2. I need vacation.
3. I need food.
4. I need tape, axe, saw, bag, shovel, and an alibi.
Just saw the news that Kobe passed. I guess there's a first for everything.
What was Juice WRLD's favorite store?
Forever 21.
Why do mountains never rest?
Because it’s ever-est.
It's called Costa Coffee because it's short for "Cost A lot for boiled, rancid dishwater."
1, 2 buckle my shoe.
3, 4 buckle some more.
5, 6 Nike kicks.
1, 2 buckle my shoe.
3, 4 open the door.
5, 6 Nike kicks.
How do you find someone's hairline? It's simple, you don't.
What's Peter Pan's favorite place to eat out?
Wendy's?
I have done a ton of work. A skele-ton.
Hello! Why did the duck cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken!
If there is a guy in a wheelchair and he is a bully, say, "I’m still standing."
Only a true MHA fan would understand.
I was trying to make homemade baby powder until I realized it isn't made from babies, oops wrong ingredient... smh
Alcoholics don't run in my family, they drive.
A: What did the lawyer say to the amputee?
Q: You haven't got a leg to stand on.
Did you eat Chef Boyardee's food?
No, why?
Boy are deez nuts so big.
Scientists are trying to find a cure for anorexics. It should be a piece of cake!
I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.
My wife said she wanted steamed vegetables with her steak, so I put her father in the hot tub.
Why do orphans die so much?
'Cause MJ said "she got COVID-19."