Short jokes
You're so full of shit that the toilet's jealous.
What did the mom say when her child came out?
"The head was so big!"
What do you get when you goblin with a shark?
Me: Dad, my phone is broken.
Dad: How?
Me: I clicked the home button, but I'm still at school.
Dad: Stupid.
Why did the toad cross the road?
To show his girlfriend he had guts.
My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.
Why don't communists like Microsoft? Because it's Minecraft instead of ourcraft.
What has hands but can’t clap?
A thalidomide baby.
Luigi and Daisy are actually Aussie! How?
They wear GREEN and GOLD! The Aussie Colors!
Hey man, I was gonna tell a joke about 9/11, but it was just plane.
An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."
A homeless kid once said he will go home.
Here’s one for the Aussies: What’s the difference between an echidna and a police car? All the pricks are on the inside.
Child abortion is like tax evasion: the more you lose, the less problems you have.
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
I don't have a joke, I just have a friend named Jack.
Ever seen twins?
If you said yes, was it before or after 2001?
Q: What do the mob and pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.
You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"
How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?
It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...
He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.
Jesus lives on a long timeline, so he may seem slow to you.