Business jokes
What do you call a private nun?
Nun-o-yo-business.
Orphans can’t work at Johnson and Johnson because it’s a family company.
Farmer's Wife: Honey, where are the cows?
Farmer: Up in the mountains grazing.
Farmer's Wife: Why?
Farmer: I don't know, but the steaks have never been higher.
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
Someone who COUNTS BARS all day!
What do you call a shedding Panera Bread?
Panera Shed.
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say when you leave?
"Thanks for coming. Hope you come again soon."
Why did the ass start a gardening service?
It was great at dropping SEEDS.
What do you call it when Panera Bread shuts down?
Panera is dead.
What do you call a stuck Panera Bread?
Panera Wedged.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the “shell” station.
What do you call security guards working outside of Samsung shops?
Guardians of the Galaxy. 🌌
My roasts aren't funny. At least this shit gets me money.
Why did the rapper become a beekeeper?
To make some BUZZWORTHY TRACKS!
Having survived a severe injury in my past, I'm kind of glad paramedics didn't succeed in bringing the United Healthcare CEO back.
I was suffering so bad I got delirious and thought that the nurses were putting poison in my water cup.
That CEO was so hated that one of the nurses probably WOULD have slipped him something!
Police seek clues to explain Walmart.
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
Because they wanted to bake some BEATS.
When someone calls you, say "Welcome to Joe's Pizza Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce."
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
Abortion clinics don't do deliveries.
Do you think the founder of Dunlop was a retired tree surgeon or a hairdresser?
How do we know the Ancient Egyptians were into organized crime?
They were always using pyramid schemes!