Short jokes
Do you know what my favorite time of day is?
6:30, hands down.
Did you hear about the guy that went to a nudist colony? The first day was his hardest.
How can you tell a bow n' arrows scared?
He starts to quiver! ;)
I went on a one in a lifetime vacation. Never again!
Mitosis!!!!!! >:)
There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
What's big, round, and can't move?
A vegetable!
It's best not to say "Hail Satan" because he can't control the weather!
That one teacher that flips on and off the light switch to get the students' attention... that one kid with epilepsy...
What is the slipperiest county?
Greece!
Once a blonde, always a blonde. 😂
Santa was in my social studies book. He was a redcoat.
Why are orphans not allowed in stores?
Because else they would actually feel at home.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You're welcome.
Christmas. Living proof arseholes exist.
"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Baby!"
"Baby who?"
"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"
"No thanks, I already ate."
Wanna see something dark?
Close your eyes.
Don't flirt when there is Life Alert!
Edna: Hey there big boy!
Big boy: You need to stop doing this.
What kind of bug lives in a graveyard?
A zom-BEE.