Barber jokes
Shit! My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs! I've been his customer for 4 years, but I had no idea he was a barber.
I wish my hair was depressed.
Cause then it would cut itself.
Who can shave 20 times a day and still have a beard? -- A barber.
A young boy enters a barber shop, and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied:
"Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!"
Your hairline is so bad, the cops had to do a breathalyzer test on your barber.
Also me on the car ride home:
What's the best haircut?
Chemotherapy.
Where did the sheep get a haircut?
At the baa-baa shop.
Your hairline goes so far back my history teacher was surprised.
Why do animals in polar regions have thick fur? Because they don't have a barber! 🤣 🤣 🤣
Sir, I mustache you a question...
Ah, never mind, I'll just shave it for later.
Why did the silly boy take the Christmas tree to a barber?
Because his mother said it needed to be trimmed.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it!
People say, "I like your cut G." Which is when you get a fresh cut. But I guess when you go bald, we can say, "Like your forehead, G."
I know it's really, really, really, really bad.
What's the difference between me and a hairdresser? We both cut too much.
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he pulled out a "Plants vs. Zombies" map and that shii fit perfectly.
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he had to get a breathalyzer test.
Your hairline is so bad when you need a role model who has been having a tough life, you go to your barber.
Your hairline is so jacked up even the barber couldn't fix it.
Yo hairline so far back that you need a magnifying glass to see it.
A Scotsman at the hairdresser: "How much is a haircut?"
"Six pounds."
"And shaving?"
"Three pounds."
"Good, then shave my head."