Sex jokes

Bigfoot is just a normal person who covered himself in Pritt Stick and went down on Susan Boyle.

What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?

If you want a female prostitute to be a carpet muncher, you have to give her money.

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blow job.

Your mini pecker is so small, the taxi driver said the ride was so short that he'd do it for free.

What’s the best thing about a blowjob?

The silence.

What is more used than plastic?

Hookers.

It’s almost take her to Spirit Halloween, and then rail her in a spooky mask season.

What do you call someone who has sex with foals, calves, and lambs? A Quadrupedophile.

Most people my age have had sex. Not my fault I'm not able to fit in.

What 16 stoner rode a Derby winner?

Lester Piggott's.

Another condom name is "Orphan's Home."

Who needs sex when they have Valorant?

Last night I had sex and she said, "Stop talking about s***, OMG!" and I made her scream so loud she said, "Her balls hurt!"

When a deaf person has sex, do they use one hand to moan?

Have you ever heard of sex? Because you just got fucked.

What do you call it when Red Sox can't pull out?

Boston cream pie.

Why did God create sex for marriage?

Because he wanted more people and less fun.

You can't YEE your last HAW!

But I put my BALLS in ur JAW.

Huh, I’m pregnant again. Must be something in the air.

Yeah, your legs.

When you tell her you are about to "COME," she says no, don't, please just keep going.

Shenron: THAT IS BEYOND MY POWER.