A cobra once bit Chuck Norris. After hours of agonising pain... it died.
Chuck Norris once stared a basilisk in the eye, and it DIED!
Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. Suddenly a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “ Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!”. He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out. The man wen back to the other man and said, “ There is no hope, you will die.”
What do you call a skeleton snake? A rattler!
why doesnt voldemort have a human nose? because his snake bit it of
I once had a pet snake, exactly 3.14 meters. He was a great πthon.
Medusa makes men hard
There once was a brother and a sister so one night it's storming really bad and the sister goes into the brothers room and asks " can I stay with you tonight because I'm scared" the brother replies with " yea sure but just don't tell Mom" so the girl climbs into the bed and looks under the sheets to see the boys penis and asks "what's that?" And the boy replies with "that's my pet snake" and the girl asks "can I pet it?" And the boy says "sure just don't tell Mom" and the boy falls asleep and wakes up in a hospital and asks "what happened" and the girl said "I pet the snake but it spit on me so I bit it's head off"
Have you heard the joke about the sheep, drum, and snake? "Baa" "dumm" "tsss"
Snake one: Are we venomous?
Snake two: Yep!... Why do you ask?
Snake one: CUZ I JUST BIT MY TOUNG!!! (Drama scene)
one-time the the dog got bit by snake so my dad had to shoot it my dad said to me "this is happen what to your little brother 'what little brother" exactly
I am Funny but sad. I submit jokes you'll love. Anyway...
Little Jimmy asked his mom if he could take a bath with her since he was scared if being alone. She said, "Sure, just don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what are those?" She replied, "Those are just headlights." He looked down and said, "What is that?" She said, "That's just a bush." The next day, mommy wasn't home so he asked to take a shower with his papa instead. He said, "Okay, but don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what is that?" His papa replied, "That's just a snake." Later that night, he asked to sleep with his parents. They said, "Okay, just don't look under the covers." After a while, he grew bored and went under the covers. Jimmy screamed, "Mom, turn on the headlights, the snake is in the bush!"
What’s an orphans favourite snake self raising flower
What is the best type of snake?
A dead one.
public speaking is a more popular fear then snakes and you don't see anyone walking in australia and shout look out a podium
Q: what did one one snake say to the other? A: Nothing because they are both dead
What is the difference between an orphan and a snake a snake has a home to go to underground
one day there were these 3 cow boys sitting next to a fire and they were telling each other about their adventures well the first cow boy said i tangled with a bull that killed 6 people so i wrestled that son of a bitch to the ground with my bare hands the second cow boy said that's nothing yesterday i was walking on a trale and came across a rattler so i picked it up ,bit its head off and drank all his venom in one gulp the third cow boy remained quiet stering the embers of the fire with his penis
One day little johnny walks in on his dad getting dressed and asked what is that daddy. Dad"Oh that's my snake." The next day little johnny walks in on his mom getting dressed and askes what is that mom says"that's my bushes" the next day Little johnny cant sleeps so he goes into his parents room and asks dad why is your snake going into moms bushes.
A sheep, a snake, and a drum fell off of a cliff,
Baa- Dum- Tsss
