Sex jokes
You look at it. You tug on it like a shoe string. You play with it like elastic bubble plastic, but it still never grows.
A sister went to her brother's room and says,
"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"
"Yes, sis."
"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)
"My pet snake."
"Can I pet it?"
"Yes."
He wakes up in a hospital.
"What happened?"
"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."
"You dummy!"
"Whaaat?"
I love eating Hisoka's big, fat, juicy c*ck.
I've been taking Viagras for sunburn.
It keeps the sheets off my bed at night!
Girl lol feel dick in mouth on you.
Memes
What is sex? You put a sex person in someone’s sex.
How many times do you nut? It depends how hard you do it.
"We make sexy time, yes, and every night I tap that."
What's the difference between a boy and girl? A boy always carries an average 5in "do not enter" sign.
What's another name for cumming inside a woman? Loading the dishwasher.
Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?
Because they just keep getting harder and harder!
I'm always willing to go down on a special needs girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
Bigfoot is just a normal person who covered himself in Pritt Stick and went down on Susan Boyle.
I'm so bored and miserable, that I have sex with my inflatable girlfriend every night.
The best part? She don't talk back.
Women should be seen and not heard.
But how would you control that if she was screaming "NO!!!" in the bedroom?
Your mum's vagina is so ravenous, that last night we both ended up on the living room floor, with her on top. She was eating my creamy young face off.
Your mom is the biggest tosser on the planet, yeah, you heard right.
I don't have to strain myself a blood vessel and be wankin' solo anymore; she saved me a whole load of arthritis.
Once you've had the mother,
Don't tell me you've never been tempted to do the daughter.
I got knob cheesed after your sexy mom was on top, dry humping me on the vanilla-coloured living room carpet.
Q: What do nuns and bathrooms have in common?
A: They both have glory holes for pleasing.