Sex jokes

Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?

Because they just keep getting harder and harder!

I'm always willing to go down on a special needs girl.

Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.

Bigfoot is just a normal person who covered himself in Pritt Stick and went down on Susan Boyle.

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

If she's not ready for an X-rated movie, she's not ready for this X-rated booty.

What’s the difference between anal and oral sex? Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 was a registered *sex* offender.

What do you say when Jack's late to sex ed?

"Aye-jack-you-late!"

My boyfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of his Honda Civic, but I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.

What is the definition of auto masturbation?

Fellatio.

What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?

If you want a female prostitute to be a carpet muncher, you have to give her money.

What is the difference between interstate and intercourse?

Chuck Norris came up with the name for Walker, Texas Ranger in sheer brilliance. You can arrange each letter for the name of the show to display the true name being "Wrangler Karate Sex!"

Why don’t Mexicans have sex education and driver's education on the same day?

Because the donkey gets tired.

💪 💪 🏋️‍♂️ What do you get when you cross a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a bukkake slut, and a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a sex worker?

Cum Junkie.

Why is bungee jumping similar to a condom?

Because if the rubber snaps, you're fucked.

What do math and me on P-hub have in common?

They are both hard.

Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?

Answer; Because it's where everyone goes to "Hang Their Meat"!

I just had sex...

I think I nailed it!

(Shit joke, I know.)

I once masturbated in the bathroom.

I was looking for something, for a little help.

Looked in the wardrobe and found something perfect.

I'LL NEVER SEE A TOOTHBRUSH THE SAME WAY AGAIN!