Sex jokes
Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.
It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.
I tried to have phone sex once.
But the holes were too small.
What did the leper say to the hooker? "You can keep the tip."
You look at it. You tug on it like a shoe string. You play with it like elastic bubble plastic, but it still never grows.
How many times do you nut? It depends how hard you do it.
What's the difference between a boy and girl? A boy always carries an average 5in "do not enter" sign.
"We make sexy time, yes, and every night I tap that."
Why did my [redacted] a girl because she said, "Uh."
This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"
Roses are red, violets are purple, lay in my bed so I can suck your nurple.
What should people do with their floppy dicks?
I give them a good wiggle waggle to raise awareness of something!
What is sex? You put a sex person in someone’s sex.
My penis is so polite. It stands up so girls can sit down.
One time I fucked this chick so hard, she almost came back to life.
There's only one reason our Education Minister is standing by this curriculum.
In her religion, you NEVER pull out.
Kaleb: Addison, are you okay???
Addison: Not at all. People think I'm annoying and stupid! Do you?
Kaleb: Yes, once I pound you in the ass.
I fucked a wall.
A sister went to her brother's room and says,
"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"
"Yes, sis."
"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)
"My pet snake."
"Can I pet it?"
"Yes."
He wakes up in a hospital.
"What happened?"
"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."
"You dummy!"
"Whaaat?"
I love eating Hisoka's big, fat, juicy c*ck.
I've been taking Viagras for sunburn.
It keeps the sheets off my bed at night!