Sex jokes
Women should be seen and not heard.
But how would you control that if she was screaming "NO!!!" in the bedroom?
Your mom is the biggest tosser on the planet, yeah, you heard right.
I don't have to strain myself a blood vessel and be wankin' solo anymore; she saved me a whole load of arthritis.
Once you've had the mother,
Don't tell me you've never been tempted to do the daughter.
I got knob cheesed after your sexy mom was on top, dry humping me on the vanilla-coloured living room carpet.
What do math and me on P-hub have in common?
They are both hard.
Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?
Answer; Because it's where everyone goes to "Hang Their Meat"!
💪 💪 🏋️♂️ What do you get when you cross a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a bukkake slut, and a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a sex worker?
Cum Junkie.
I just had sex...
I think I nailed it!
(Shit joke, I know.)
What do the initials UAW stand for?
United Awesome Whores.
Why is bungee jumping similar to a condom?
Because if the rubber snaps, you're fucked.
What's the difference between sleeping pills and my beating my meat?
Sleeping pills actually come with a prescription.
Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 was a registered *sex* offender.
Don't you hate when you have sex with your teacher, then remember you're home schooled?
What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a carpet muncher, you have to give her money.
What is the difference between interstate and intercourse?
Chuck Norris came up with the name for Walker, Texas Ranger in sheer brilliance. You can arrange each letter for the name of the show to display the true name being "Wrangler Karate Sex!"
What is the definition of auto masturbation?
Fellatio.
When she says "parents aren't home" so you rush upstairs.
What is more used than plastic?
Hookers.
Person 1: Yassin has sex with a piece of sex.
Person 2: Nice, can I have some of your balls?