Who wants to be my boyfriend?
Sex Jokes
Who do you call in times of a marriage crisis?
A prostitute, because your wife fucking sucks.
Don't say you want to eat out a five-year-old's pussy, because I have already shoved a glass dildo in her tight ass pussy, UwU.
What’s another name for nutting in a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
What flavor ice cream do rape victims enjoy?
Cock flavor.
Once I got out of bed, my butt hurt afterward.
What goes in and takes a while to come out?
What do condoms and whores have in common?
Answer: There is a lot that comes in every box.
When I was walking home, a couple of married guys were saying, "Your mom is good at her job," but I realized my mom doesn't work.
So I ask my mom, "Why are these guys saying you're good at your job? You don't work." My mom said, "Yeah, I got a new job." So I said, "What do you do?" My mom said, "Job hand, no, I mean it's called a hand job."
Why can’t an emo have sex?
They can’t make it to the bed, they kept swinging on the tree.
Who sucked on my cock?
Answer: You.
Women are only for sex!
They are good for cooking and sex!
Nothing but those things.
How do you tell a male skeleton from a female skeleton by the BONERS lmao?
Gwen pegs Xavier.
An orphan walks on a path asking for his mum. Soon he remembers he doesn't have a mum.
(Also, I had sex with ur mum. She was screaming "daddy~")
Hey, I broke up with your girl.
-Me: What? Why?
Wait, what?
-Me: You f**ked her, so it's your baby.
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Why couldn't the pervert cross the road? Because his dick was in the chicken's ass!
What's the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?
Refrigerators don't queef when you pull your meat out.
Jack and Jill ran up the hill to pop some pills,
And Jill said, "Jack can do her without here will," and Jack's penis was still.
Q. What do Kenny's dick and this joke have in common?
A. They're both really short.
