Sex jokes
Last night I had sex and she said, "Stop talking about s***, OMG!" and I made her scream so loud she said, "Her balls hurt!"
Why did God create sex for marriage?
Because he wanted more people and less fun.
Have you ever heard of sex? Because you just got fucked.
What do you call someone who has sex with foals, calves, and lambs? A Quadrupedophile.
Most people my age have had sex. Not my fault I'm not able to fit in.
Memes
What 16 stoner rode a Derby winner?
Lester Piggott's.
When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.
Did you know there’s a sex position called “Amazon”? You wait all day and nobody comes.
It's gonna take a step stool to get a blow job.
Remember kids, ejaculate, then evacuate.
What's the difference between sleeping pills and my beating my meat?
Sleeping pills actually come with a prescription.
If two people who have the clap sleep together, did they make an applause?
Don't you hate when you have sex with your teacher, then remember you're home schooled?
As soon as I saw your mom, my Premature Ejaculation went off.
Who wants a spot of bukkake for bedtime?
Your mom was absolutely getting drilled by me on the living room floor last night.
What do the initials UAW stand for?
United Awesome Whores.
I'm so bored and miserable, that I have sex with my inflatable girlfriend every night.
The best part? She don't talk back.
Women should be seen and not heard.
But how would you control that if she was screaming "NO!!!" in the bedroom?
Your mum's vagina is so ravenous, that last night we both ended up on the living room floor, with her on top. She was eating my creamy young face off.