Sex jokes
I got knob cheesed after your sexy mom was on top, dry humping me on the vanilla-coloured living room carpet.
Your mom gave me a three course meal last night:
Starters - Foreplay
Main course - Reverse Cowgirl
Dessert - Blowy
Won't forget the side drink of an individual on individual bukkake.
Who wants a spot of bukkake for bedtime?
Once you've had the mother,
Don't tell me you've never been tempted to do the daughter.
Your mom is the biggest tosser on the planet, yeah, you heard right.
I don't have to strain myself a blood vessel and be wankin' solo anymore; she saved me a whole load of arthritis.
Memes
Your mum's vagina is so ravenous, that last night we both ended up on the living room floor, with her on top. She was eating my creamy young face off.
Women should be seen and not heard.
But how would you control that if she was screaming "NO!!!" in the bedroom?
Your mom was absolutely getting drilled by me on the living room floor last night.
I'm so bored and miserable, that I have sex with my inflatable girlfriend every night.
The best part? She don't talk back.
As soon as I saw your mom, my Premature Ejaculation went off.
What do the initials UAW stand for?
United Awesome Whores.
Q: What do nuns and bathrooms have in common?
A: They both have glory holes for pleasing.
What’s the difference between anal and oral sex? Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.
A vagina is like the weather. Once it’s wet, it’s time to go inside.
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
Q. What do you call anal sex with a politician?
A. A backroom deal.
The sky never changes color, but when it does, we know how your breath is increasing.
"Cummy wummy all over my mummy."
Who wants to be my boyfriend?
Who do you call in times of a marriage crisis?
A prostitute, because your wife fucking sucks.