Sex jokes
Seriously, who wants dicks?
Blonde: Can I suck you off? (has STDs on mouth)
Me: Naw (drake turn/dab)
Your face with my cum.
What’s the difference between a bullet and a prostitute? They both burst a barrel.
What's the difference between an aborted fetus and an upside-down bar stool?
An upside-down bar stool can only pleasure 4 men.
Why don't gay Greek men have anal sex with each other in Greece?
Because anal sex between gay men is against the law in Greece.
When I masturbate, things cum.
When an old man does, no one cums.
If life was like Pacific Rim, I'd say your mom's pussy was a category 5.
Aaron and Ben meet on Grindr. They have a drink and have sex. They wake up in the morning in bed. Aaron says, "I'm so glad I got it out." Ben replies, "What? Oh, just the HIV."
Why are sex toys something to stuff in your asshole and not a big racecar?
Las Vegas has a new 550-foot-tall Ferris wheel, hoping to gain tourists.
What’s already gaining “tourists”? Whores.
What does your mother look like after I had sex with her eight times? An octopus.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef!
I'mma flip this coin, if it lands on heads, tuh, you gotta give me head, if it lands on tails then you gotta give me the booty, so lets give this a try *flips coin* OOP! Would ya look at that, it landed on both, ESSKETIT!
What did your mom get for Christmas?
A big black horse dildo.
A man walked into a fleshlight and died.
What do you call sex?
Making cake.
Pussy = drugs.
Why'd I cum all over your mummy's panties? 'Cause she's hot af.
LOLOLOOLOLLOL
If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?
That number is how many dicks you suck.
I don’t like to play games, actually. There is one game: It’s Barbie. Of course, I’ll be Ken, and you’ll be the box cum in.