Sex jokes
What’s the difference between a bullet and a prostitute? They both burst a barrel.
When I masturbate, things cum.
When an old man does, no one cums.
If life was like Pacific Rim, I'd say your mom's pussy was a category 5.
Aaron and Ben meet on Grindr. They have a drink and have sex. They wake up in the morning in bed. Aaron says, "I'm so glad I got it out." Ben replies, "What? Oh, just the HIV."
Las Vegas has a new 550-foot-tall Ferris wheel, hoping to gain tourists.
What’s already gaining “tourists”? Whores.
Why are sex toys something to stuff in your asshole and not a big racecar?
What does your mother look like after I had sex with her eight times? An octopus.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef!
I'mma flip this coin, if it lands on heads, tuh, you gotta give me head, if it lands on tails then you gotta give me the booty, so lets give this a try *flips coin* OOP! Would ya look at that, it landed on both, ESSKETIT!
What did your mom get for Christmas?
A big black horse dildo.
Why'd I cum all over your mummy's panties? 'Cause she's hot af.
LOLOLOOLOLLOL
Pussy = drugs.
What do you call sex?
Making cake.
I was going home and 3 guys came up to me: an Italian, a Black guy, and a Spanish guy. They said, "You should be a proud brother, your sister knows her meats." I didn't know what they were talking about. They said, "Your sister won a trophy, you will see it when you get home." I went home. My sister said, "Look, I won a trophy by knowing my meats." I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "Well, 3 guys blindfolded me and I gave them a blowjob, each one of them, and I guessed which flavor it was. I was right all the time, that's how I won my trophy." As a big brother, I couldn't be any prouder.
I don’t like to play games, actually. There is one game: It’s Barbie. Of course, I’ll be Ken, and you’ll be the box cum in.
What's a prostitute's favorite snack?
Skittles. They love to taste the rainbow.
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They are both meat substitutes.
Why did the dick suck my ass? They died.
Nancy be like, "Don't do drugs, do cock!"
Clit
Why did the penis go fly?
Because a girl sucked it too hard, it went flying away.