Why do people have sex?
Because they like going "Ahhhhhhhhhhh fuck me, bitch, I love you!"
Sex Jokes
My dick is hard as a rock, anyone wanna fuck?
What itches a lot?
Syphilis.
Ur mum smells like shit, yeah, so she sucks a man off and washing machine. Yo, don’t at me, yeah, you chicken breath.
I had sex with my German girlfriend; it was kinda weird though. She kept yelling her age. I don't know why.
What wiggles and waggles?
A floppy dick!
Q: Why doesn’t Jimmy Swaggart worry about his premature ejaculation problem?
A: He believes in the second cumming.
The highest praise my wife gave to me was when she told me, "The best feminine attribute on your body as a woman would be your p🍆nis." 🥰
BLM = Bang local MILFs.
Haven't had sex since I got out of jail; although sex in jail wasn't that great, either.
Guys, don’t suck your own dick, it does not feel like your dick is being sucked, it feels like you're sucking a dick.
I know your name is baller cause I'm gonna put my baller into yo MOTHER HOLLER!
Jesse: Do you like my ball?
Mike: Yes, they are very big. I can’t even fit them in my mouth. You bought a new ball, right?
Jesse: No, they do not leave me.
What's a native chick say after sex?
"Get off me, Dad, you're crushing my smokes!"
What do my cock and money have in common?
Your mom.
*having sex on lexapro*
Her: Cum for me, baby!
Me: I'm trying!
Me: What are we doing in HPE?
Friend: Fitness.
Me: Fitting deez nuts in your mouth.
What’s the best thing about midgets??
They don’t need to bend while giving blowjobs.
Can anyone play me in a no limits femdom RP on Kik?
What do dino nuggies and the brown M&M have in common?
I want to fuck them both.
