Science jokes
Stephen Hawking died because he was too far away from the Wi-Fi router.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
It's me. I can't get in because Stephen Hawking is blocking the door!
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Why was Stephen Hawking disappointed when he got his Christmas present? It was singing lessons.
Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun.
What does NASA stand for?
Need Another Seven Astronauts!
Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.
What kind of candy do astronauts eat in space?
Mars bars.
What does a physicist call it when a suicidal person is high up? Potential energy.
What's an astronaut's favorite game? Space-ball!
Yo hairline is so far back that it was there before the Big Bang happened.
What's the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it'll be delighted!
The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
Why are tomatoes red? Because they contain the carotenoid lycopene!
XD RawR woof woof bark bark UwU meowwwww ROFL LMAO LOLOLOOLOLOL KEKW KEKW PEPELASUGH
Why is Newton not allowed to visit local farms?
The owners know that forces come in pears.
You're so fat, you have your own gravitational pull.
SCP-1540 transforms in-front of a d-class:
D-class: Whoa dude, you’re a wolf!
SCP-1540: A am a were.
How do flat-earthers travel?
On a plane.
What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common?
They both enjoy digging up the past.
Why did the weatherman’s cheeks turn pink?
He saw the climate change.