Science jokes
Why was Stephen Hawking disappointed when he got his Christmas present? It was singing lessons.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun.
What does NASA stand for?
Need Another Seven Astronauts!
If you look up the word "wheelchair" in a dictionary, you will see a picture of Stephen Hawking.
Memes
Low quality
What does a physicist call it when a suicidal person is high up? Potential energy.
Why did the weatherman’s cheeks turn pink?
He saw the climate change.
The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
I tried having a three-way with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three-body problem.
I tried to catch fog yesterday...
Mist.
My reverse psychologist told me I didn't have it in me to make a recovery.
Why is helium so expensive? It is due to inflation.
What type of comedy can't Steven Hawking do?
Stand-up comedy.
You're so fat, you have your own gravitational pull.
SCP-1540 transforms in-front of a d-class:
D-class: Whoa dude, you’re a wolf!
SCP-1540: A am a were.
How do flat-earthers travel?
On a plane.
What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common?
They both enjoy digging up the past.
What do you call a prehistoric crow? Crow-Magnon.
How'd the skeleton know it was going to rain? He looked at the weather forecast.
What's an astronaut's favorite game? Space-ball!