Science jokes
Stephen Hawking isn't actually dead. He is just having an update.
Is Stephen Hawking a physicist now?
No, because he is dead.
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
If you said he felt it in his bones, you're wrong. He watched the weather forecast.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Why was Stephen Hawking disappointed when he got his Christmas present? It was singing lessons.
Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun.
What does NASA stand for?
Need Another Seven Astronauts!
How did the nut study for its test?
It used the inter-nut.
Your momma's so fat, she had to take a selfie using the Hubble telescope.
We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.
But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.
SCP-173 has breached containment. This is not a joke. Multiple Keter class SCPs have breached containment. This is an XK class event. Evacuate the Earth and solar system. The world is ending!
Q: What did the ocean say to the boy?
A: Nothing! Oceans don't talk, silly!
What do you call a nerd in space?
A space nerd.
Yo mama so fat, when she farts, it's counted as a new gas element.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
What's ALS?
Your hairline and the universe have one thing in common: they’re yet to be discovered.
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with Bill Gates? One stands, the other doesn't.
I tried having a three-way with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three-body problem.
Steven Hawking was so excited for Christmas till he realized he got socks.
Why are tomatoes red? Because they contain the carotenoid lycopene!
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