Science jokes
Stephen Hawking died because he was too far away from the Wi-Fi router.
Stephen Hawking didn't die, he just uploaded himself to the 'net...
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
If you said he felt it in his bones, you're wrong. He watched the weather forecast.
Why was Stephen Hawking disappointed when he got his Christmas present? It was singing lessons.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Low quality
Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun.
What does NASA stand for?
Need Another Seven Astronauts!
What does a physicist call it when a suicidal person is high up? Potential energy.
Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.
What's the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it'll be delighted!
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie?
He can’t walkie or talkie.
How do flat-earthers travel?
On a plane.
What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common?
They both enjoy digging up the past.
Why did the weatherman’s cheeks turn pink?
He saw the climate change.
I tried having a three-way with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three-body problem.
Very funny battery joke.
What would the Mandalorian be called if it was made in an aquatic center?
Mandachlorian.
Why is helium so expensive? It is due to inflation.
I tried to catch fog yesterday...
Mist.
My reverse psychologist told me I didn't have it in me to make a recovery.