Yo mama so fat that when she was on the moon, she had it sent right into the abyss of outer space.
What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?
One wags its tail, and the other tags a whale!
73 Earths can fit in Uranus.
(Kids Doing A Science Project.) Kid 1: Did you bring Uranus?
Kid 2: Never leave home without it.
What did George Washington Carver have anything to do with gorillas? It's a little possible, ya dummy!
Yo mama is so fat that she is not wrong when she says the world revolves around her.
SCP-173 has breached containment. This is not a joke. Multiple Keter class SCPs have breached containment. This is an XK class event. Evacuate the Earth and solar system. The world is ending!
An acronym for penis is Proton-enhanced nuclear induction spectroscopy. So just remember, the word "nuclear" is part of a penis.
Why is Mercury filled with Beryllium, Gold, and Titanium?
Mercury is Be-Au-Ti-Full!
We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.
But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.
How did the nut study for its test?
It used the inter-nut.
Global warming is the average of temperature on Earth.
I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, because I need new parts for my go-kart.
Yo mama so fat, when she farts, it's counted as a new gas element.
Your hairline and the universe have one thing in common: they’re yet to be discovered.
Why is Stephen Hawking not scared of anyone?
His wheelchair always backs him up.
Your momma's so fat, she had to take a selfie using the Hubble telescope.
Q: What did the ocean say to the boy?
A: Nothing! Oceans don't talk, silly!
Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.
Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."
Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."
To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"
A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"
