What did one astronaut say to the other astronaut after landing on the Moon?
"Ah! And people thought we were moons!"
why isn't stephen hawking going to heaven? because he's british
Why do science jokes usually get no reaction? Because they're so BORON!
what do you call bald science teacher
HOBBS LOL XD :)
Why is Mercury so hot? I know, because the sun is killing Mercury.
Science experts say when your get mad,punch and orphan what are they going to do tell there parents?
why earth flat?
Hey, did you know that Stephen Hawking predicted the end of the world?
Well, not really. He predicted the end of *his* world.
Stephen Hawking never wrote a book... it was a Dragon who was naturally speaking.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his carer lost his charger.
Stephen Hawking drove too far away from the wall and unplugged himself.
If O2 is H2O, what is F?
It is H2O too; F is water as well.
what did the atom say to the positive in math class. We could make a positive number
I got an F in science. F stands for Fantastic!
There is a really, really small guy and his name is Adam, so I say, "Hey, look, it's an atom!"
What does NASA stand for?
Nose and smelly astronauts.
Q: Why can't science be combined with religion?
A: 'Cause science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.
A man decides one day that it is time to buy a pet. He goes to the pet store, looks around and sees a beautiful parrot, sitting quietly on a stick in his cage. Yet the beast has no feet or paws. "What is the matter with you?" the man thinks aloud.
"Well, that's how I was born, I'm actually a faulty parrot," says the bird.
"Haha," the man laughs, "it seems like that parrot understands what I'm saying and even answers!"
"I understand everything you say, I am extremely intelligent and very well educated," says the bird.
"Well, if you're so smart then tell me how you can stay on your stick without legs."
"Well," says the parrot, "it's a bit embarrassing, but okay, I wrap my little parrot penis around the stick, like a hook, but I hide that with my thick feathers."
"Wow, you really understand everything I say, don't you?"
"Yes, yes," replies the bird, "and I speak Spanish and English fluently, I can speak on a level about almost everything, politics, religion, sport, and philosophy, and I specialize in bird science, you should buy me, I am also a very good friend for you."
The man looks at the price tag, 200 euros is on it. "Sorry, I cannot afford that."
"Psst," whispers the parrot as he beckons the man with his wing closer. "Nobody wants me because I do not have legs, just bid 25 euros and you can take me with you."
The man offers 25 euros and walks 5 minutes later with the parrot out of the store. A few weeks pass. The parrot is sensational. He is fun and interesting, gives good advice, is sympathetic to everyone, in short; the perfect roommate and friend. One day the man comes home from work and the parrot says "Pssssssssssst" while he beckons his wing again. The man comes close to the cage. "I do not know if I should tell you this," says the parrot, "but it's about your wife and the postman."
"What!?" says the man.
"Well, the postman came to the door and your wife greeted him in a nothing disguised nightgown and kissed him flat on the mouth."
"And then," the man hisses, "What happened then?"
"Well, the postman came in, grabbed her nightgown and started caressing her everywhere."
"My God," says the now furious man, "And what else did they do?"
"Then he took off her nightgown, went through his knees and started to lick her everywhere, starting at her breasts and getting further and further down."
"And then, what happened, what else did they do?" the man screams.
"No idea," says the papgaai, "I got a boner and thundered off my stick..."
An orphan walks into a science lab. The lead scientist greets him and takes him to a DNA testing station. After some procedures the results come back
UNKNOWN
Science flew us to the moon. Religion flew us into two skyscrapers.
