Science jokes
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
For being a big company, NASA is openly saying they want pictures of Uranus.
Teacher: What’s the closest planet?
Kids yell: Sun.
Except for one.
Other kid: Uranus.
Teacher: Uranus?
Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.
Why does Wet have a big head? Because he got hit by a wetaroid!
I know why Stephen Hawking loves Transformers so much now.
Autobots, "Roll Out!"
Low quality
I followed the sun for a day (stood there at noon). I found myself at the same spot.
What did the computer say to the other computer? “Well, tech-ically we can’t talk.”
Q: What did one atom say to the other?
A: I have my ion you.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on pot?
Pot wheels.
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
What did the neutrino say to the planet?
"Just passing through."
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it wanted to be Argon.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
It's me. I can't get in because Stephen Hawking is blocking the door!
Why did the people think Stephen Hawking was disrespectful?
'Cause he didn't stand up for the national anthem.
What do astronauts 👩🚀 do when they’re on break?
They eat launch. 🚀🥪
🚘 What is as old as the earth 🌎 and new every month? The moon.
Stephen Hawking isn't actually dead. He is just having an update.
Is Stephen Hawking a physicist now?
No, because he is dead.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Not Stephen Hawking."
Stephen Hawking didn't die, he just uploaded himself to the 'net...