Physicist jokes
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with David Beckham?
They both dribble.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to his fridge but get nothing out?
It was a dummy run.
It's true, you know. Stephen Hawking has been up more ramps than Evel Knievel.
When Stephen Hawking's teacher asked him, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
He said, "Six foot four."
Why was Stephen Hawking known as lazy?
Because he was always sitting on the job.
When does Stephen Hawking cross the road?
When it says "DON'T WALK."
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He rolled away and his charger unplugged.
Hi. My name's Stephen Hawking. What's your disability?
Why can't Stephen Hawking win any arguments?
Because he can't stand up for himself.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite hobby?
Rolling on ice.
Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.
Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?
Roll In Peace.
What shoe size is Stephen Hawking?
It doesn't matter—he can't walk anyway.
Stand? Wait. No.
Why did Stephen Hawking make it to heaven?
He couldn't make it up the stairs.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?
At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.
I tried having a three-way with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three-body problem.
Why was Stephen Hawking always like this 🫠?
Because he didn’t have emojis on his computer.
I heard he's doing a revival tour next month. It's called "Stephen Hawking Unplugged."
What sound did Stephen Hawking make when he died? Power off.