What is Mozart doing right now? -- Decomposing.
A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while "the lights would turn off." Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom? The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf." "Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way," said the nun. So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause. ! She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"
"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?" "No thank you, but, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.
"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.
Now, how about that drink?"
What rock group has four men that don't sing? -- Mount Rushmore.
Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.
What concert costs 45 cents? -- 50 Cent feat. Nickelback.
What do you call a singing laptop? -- A Dell.
What do you call a musician 👩🎤 who drinks soda and sings 🎤 at the same time?
My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away
I only listen to waltz 3/4 of the time
Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?" -- The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat miner.
What do you call the musical kid who is very aware of his surrondings?
C sharp minor
Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?
Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.
You guys know the notes A Minor and D? I really like putting D in A Minor!
What's the best finger for fingering A Minor?
i would rather be drugged and robbed by cardi b than listen to her fucking music
So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, I hope that wan't to much to (Handel), (Dont) let it (Strauss) you out. For all of my musicians out there!
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear.
"I hear you asking 'What's your favorite instrument?' The TromBone.
Which pokemon listens to Aha? Takemeon