Music jokes
How do clarinet players play a song?
They reed their music.
Look for the Gummy Bear album in stores on November 13th, with lots of music, videos, and extras!
A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while "the lights would turn off."
Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.
However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender and asked, "May I please use the restroom?"
The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf."
"Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way," said the nun.
So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause!
She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"
"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?"
"No thank you, but, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.
"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out."
Now, how about that drink?
What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell.
What is a tuba plus tuba? -- Fourba.
My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away.
What is Mozart doing right now? -- Decomposing.
My grandma refused to be an organ donor. She was buried with all her musical instruments.
My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I'll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.
What's the best finger for fingering A minor?
What rock group has four men that don't sing? -- Mount Rushmore.
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor...
If Al Gore started a math rock band, it should be called Algorhythm.
How do you beat Hellen Keller in musical chairs?
You move the chairs.
I started an emo salsa band. We're called Hispanic at the Disco.
What do you call the musical kid who is very aware of his surroundings?
C sharp minor.
What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.
One time, the quiet kid hacked the speakers in a school. Next thing you know, "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster The People starts playing.