Singing

Anonymous

What do you call a singing laptop? – A Dell.

Light

dirty night clown

My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I’ll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.

Cent

Anonymous

What concert costs 45 cents? – 50 Cent feat. Nickelback.

Puns

Anonymous

Why can’t skeletons play church music? Because they have no organs.

Puns

Anonymous

Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, “What kind of music do you like?” – The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

Finger

Anonymous

Why was the guitar teacher arrested?

For fingering a minor.

Right

Anonymous

What is Mozart doing right now? – Decomposing.

Puns

Anonymous

What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat miner.

Nun

cynthia

A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while "the lights would turn off." Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.

She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom? The bartender replied, “OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.” “Well, in that case, I’ll just look the other way,” said the nun. So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.

After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause. ! She went to the bartender and said, “Sir, I don’t understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?”

“Well, now they know you’re one of us,” said the bartender, “Would you like a drink?” “No thank you, but, I still don’t understand,” said the puzzled nun.

“You see,” laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.

Now, how about that drink?"

Dad

johnny rub

My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away

Rock

Anonymous

What rock group has four men that don’t sing? – Mount Rushmore.

Wonder

Anonymous

Have you seen Stevie Wonder’s new piano?

Neither has he.

Puns

Anonymous

Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.

Chair

Someone

Who’s the best at musical chairs?

Stephen Hawking

Rock

Anonymous

If Al Gore started a math rock band it should be called Algorhythm.

Astronaut

Joshua Morison

What music do Astronauts Listen to?

Nep-Tunes

Flat

Anonymous

What did music tell the pancakes? – B flat.

Paint

Anonymous

What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common?

They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.

Cow

Anonymous

What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? – A moosician.

Time

Daniel King

What do you call a musician 👩‍🎤 who drinks soda and sings 🎤 at the same time?

A popsinger.

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