What is Mozart doing right now? -- Decomposing.
Music Jokes
What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell.
A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while "the lights would turn off."
Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.
However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender and asked, "May I please use the restroom?"
The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf."
"Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way," said the nun.
So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause!
She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"
"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?"
"No thank you, but, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.
"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out."
Now, how about that drink?
What concert costs 45 cents? -- 50 Cent feat. Nickelback.
What rock group has four men that don't sing? -- Mount Rushmore.
My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I'll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.
According to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.
What music do Astronauts listen to?
Nep-tunes.
How do clarinet players play a song?
They reed their music.
Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."
Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
For fingering a minor.
Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano?
Neither has he.
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat miner.
Why can't skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear.
What kind of music do wind turbines like?
They are big, heavy metal fans!
Why did Michael Jackson call Boyz II Men? He thought they were a delivery service.
My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away.
What is Beethoven doing now?
Decomposing.
My grandma refused to be an organ donor. She was buried with all her musical instruments.
