Science jokes
What type of comedy can't Steven Hawking do?
Stand-up comedy.
Guys, there is no need to worry about anti-vaxxers. The more there are, the less there are.
Q: How heavy is a photon?
A: It's light!
Why couldn’t the guy make bubbles?
He couldn’t find the right solution.
What do you call a prehistoric crow? Crow-Magnon.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite band?
The Rolling Stones.
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For some reason, quarks sound really strange to me.
Why didn't the boy want to read "2000 Leagues Under the Sea"?
It was too much pressure.
How do chemists laugh?
HeHe.
What did the pirate say to Argon?
Ar!
You're so fat, you have your own gravitational pull.
The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
Your momma's so fat, she had to take a selfie using the Hubble telescope.
How did the nut study for its test?
It used the inter-nut.
We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.
But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.
My son's into astromancy asked me how do stars die, so I told him, "Usually on overdose, son."
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with Bill Gates? One stands, the other doesn't.
Yo hairline is so far back that it was there before the Big Bang happened.
Why are tomatoes red? Because they contain the carotenoid lycopene!
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