Roast

Anonymous

If being ugly was a crime u would get a life sentence

Prison

Anonymous

Some people think prison is one word…but to robbers it’s a whole sentence

Prison

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

What is a prisoner’s favorite punctuation?

A period.

Why?

Because it marks the end of a sentence.

Little Johnny

Anonymous

One day Little Johnny’s class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?” Little Mary says, “The teacher is very intelligent.” The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?” Little Suzie says, “They are very fashionable.” The teacher says, “Johnny, why don’t you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence.” Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy ‘Darling how does my dictate’ "

6

Confusion

Anonymous

The next sentence is telling the truth. The previous sentence is telling a lie.

Name

Anonymous

Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.

Man

seb

MAN A: ‘‘is google male or female’’?

MAN B: ‘‘female because it does not let you finish the sentence before making a suggestion’’.

Little Johnny

K H

Teacher: Johnny can you use a sentence with definitely in it Little Johnny: Do farts have lumps in them Teacher: of cause not Johnny Little Johnny: then I’ve definitely shat myself

Bank

HaHa Funny Joke

I was working at the bank today when an old lady came up to me and asked me to check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

Girl

PackersFan

Is Google a girl or a boy?

Obviously a Girl, because it won’t let you finish a sentence without making a suggestion.

Happening

Anonymous

What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws? – It was given two consecutive sentences.

Flat

Weirdo.

Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: “Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we’ll be happy forever in heaven, eventually.”

little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor

Little Johnny

FUNNYKIDSCHOOLJOKES

One day at school, Little Johnny and his friends were asked to do a sheet of paper which said, “Put a matching word from the word bank into the slot in the sentence that makes it make sense.” But when the teacher marked Little Johnny’s papers, she asked why he put the word bank in every slot. And he says, “Well teacher, you said to put a word from the word Bank and that’s one word! So I had no choice but to put down that word!”

Ear

Anonymous

Say I’m a man after every sentence You walk into a bar. (I’m a man) You find a girl . ( I’m a man) You take her home.(I’m a man) She whispers in your ear.(I’m a man)

Little Johnny

I_Is_Cow

Teacher tests Little Johnny, “OK, Johnny, create a sentence which starts with ‘I’.” Little Johnny confidently starts, “I is…” Teacher snaps, “No, Little Johnny. You must always say, ‘I am’.” Little Johnny sighs, “Yes ma’am. ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’"

0

Bob

Sick

Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed receiving medical treatment soon after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit Bob and told him this very inspiring sentence: “Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb peaking mountains, and cross low valleys.”

little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor

Fat

The roast king

1 your so dumb you thing Cheerios are donut seeds!

  1. Your so fat you could sell shade!
  2. Your just like coconut water, nobody likes you! 4 you been shopping lately because there selling lives around the corner, you should go get one! If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence !! Are these good

Difference

Anonymous

What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? – A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.

1

Stroke

Anonymous

I was talking to my welsh friend the other day and he suddenly started talking welsh to me then collapsed after the first few sentences. Turns out he had a stroke

0

Little Johnny

U make me barf

The teacher asked her class to use definitely in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. “The sky is definitely blue.” “Very good Kevin,but the sky can also be blue or black.” the teacher replied. Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him. And picked Annie from the back of the room. “The grass is definitely green.” “Very good Annie, but it can also be brown.” Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally she called on him. “Mines more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?” “Why no Johnny why would you ask such a question?” She questioned. “Well if they don’t have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself.”

7