By using this site, you agree to its use of cookies. Read more

Some people think prison is one word…but to robbers it’s a whole sentence

What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws? – It was given two consecutive sentences.

The teacher asked her class to use definitely in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. “The sky is definitely blue.” “Very good Kevin,but the sky can also be blue or black.” the teacher replied. Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him. And picked Annie from the back of the room. “The grass is definitely green.” “Very good Annie, but it can also be brown.” Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally she called on him. “Mines more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?” “Why no Johnny why would you ask such a question?” She questioned. “Well if they don’t have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself.”

What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? – A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.

Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.

I was talking to my welsh friend the other day and he suddenly started talking welsh to me then collapsed after the first few sentences. Turns out he had a stroke

How can you tell if google is a girl? It makes suggestions before you finish your sentence

A single sentence walks into a bar.

What is a prisoner’s favorite punctuation?

A period.

Why?

Because it marks the end of a sentence.

I was working at the bank today when an old lady came up to me and asked me to check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

Say I’m a man after every sentence You walk into a bar. (I’m a man) You find a girl . ( I’m a man) You take her home.(I’m a man) She whispers in your ear.(I’m a man)

Finish the sentence

Salt and Vi…

Some of you people on here are complete incels and need to learn how to spell/ properly construct simplistic grammatical sentences that actually make sense

You: Say “addicted” after everything I say. Person: Uh okay. You: When you’re obsessed with candy you are…? Person: Addicted. You: When you’re obsessed with drugs you are…? Person: Addicted. You: What hit you in the face last night? Person: Addicted… laughs (It’s supposed to sound like “A dick did”)

You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving, you need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

Yo’ Mama is so stanky, her Sure deodorant got confused and her Secret deodorant told on her

3 boy chiwawa were hot about this girl chiwawa. She tells them I will date whichever one of you can use liver and cheese in the same sentence. First dog say… I love cheese but liver is bland. She replay… Really original. Next dog… I love liver but chesse makes me constipated… She replay… Ewe gross. Third dog steps up… Man Liver alone cheese mine. Winner dog 3.