Some people think prison is one word…but to robbers it’s a whole sentence

Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.

I was working at the bank today when an old lady came up to me and asked me to check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? – A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.

What is a prisoner’s favorite punctuation?

A period.

Why?

Because it marks the end of a sentence.

I was talking to my welsh friend the other day and he suddenly started talking welsh to me then collapsed after the first few sentences. Turns out he had a stroke

What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws? – It was given two consecutive sentences.

The teacher asked her class to use definitely in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. “The sky is definitely blue.” “Very good Kevin,but the sky can also be blue or black.” the teacher replied. Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him. And picked Annie from the back of the room. “The grass is definitely green.” “Very good Annie, but it can also be brown.” Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally she called on him. “Mines more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?” “Why no Johnny why would you ask such a question?” She questioned. “Well if they don’t have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself.”

One day Little Johnny’s class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?” Little Mary says, “The teacher is very intelligent.” The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?” Little Suzie says, “They are very fashionable.” The teacher says, “Johnny, why don’t you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence.” Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy ‘Darling how does my dictate’ "

1 your so dumb you thing Cheerios are donut seeds!

  1. Your so fat you could sell shade!
  2. Your just like coconut water, nobody likes you! 4 you been shopping lately because there selling lives around the corner, you should go get one! If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence !! Are these good

A single sentence walks into a bar.

how do you put “blonde” and “duh” in the same sentence? just say " blondes are (duh)mb

How can you tell if google is a girl? It makes suggestions before you finish your sentence

Finish the sentence

Salt and Vi…

You: Say “addicted” after everything I say. Person: Uh okay. You: When you’re obsessed with candy you are…? Person: Addicted. You: When you’re obsessed with drugs you are…? Person: Addicted. You: What hit you in the face last night? Person: Addicted… laughs (It’s supposed to sound like “A dick did”)

Say I’m a man after every sentence You walk into a bar. (I’m a man) You find a girl . ( I’m a man) You take her home.(I’m a man) She whispers in your ear.(I’m a man)

Some of you people on here are complete incels and need to learn how to spell/ properly construct simplistic grammatical sentences that actually make sense

You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving, you need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

a guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if its relephant. he says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.

Yo’ Mama is so stanky, her Sure deodorant got confused and her Secret deodorant told on her

What’s thick, long, hard and has cum in it?

Cucumber. Lol. I love the way you think.

3 boy chiwawa were hot about this girl chiwawa. She tells them I will date whichever one of you can use liver and cheese in the same sentence. First dog say… I love cheese but liver is bland. She replay… Really original. Next dog… I love liver but chesse makes me constipated… She replay… Ewe gross. Third dog steps up… Man Liver alone cheese mine. Winner dog 3.

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