Sentence Jokes

Anonymous
in Puns

Some people think prison is one word...but to robbers it’s a whole sentence

Anonymous
in Roast

If being ugly was a crime u would get a life sentence

7
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
in Puns

What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation?

A period.

Why?

Because it marks the end of a sentence.

PackersFan
in Bad

Is Google a girl or a boy?

Obviously a Girl, because it won't let you finish a sentence without making a suggestion.

Anonymous
in Confusion

The next sentence is telling the truth. The previous sentence is telling a lie.

K H
in Little Johnny

Teacher: Johnny can you use a sentence with definitely in it Little Johnny: Do farts have lumps in them Teacher: of cause not Johnny Little Johnny: then I’ve definitely shat myself

4
Anonymous

One day Little Johnny's class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?" Little Mary says, "The teacher is very intelligent." The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?" Little Suzie says, "They are very fashionable." The teacher says, "Johnny, why don't you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence." Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy 'Darling how does my dictate' "

8
in Orphan

A boy is about to be sentenced for killing his parents.

He begs the judge to spare his life.

The judge asks for one good reason he should be shown any mercy.

The boy replies, “I’m an orphan, your honor.”

Anonymous
in Computer

Is google a male or female? Female because it doesn’t let you finish your sentences before making a suggestion

Anonymous
in Music

Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.

Iamanorphan
in Orphan

Judge: We shall now sentence you for the murder of your parents. Accused: Please consider a lenient sentence, your honour. Judge: But why? Accused: Because I’m an orphan.

Jayvin Zebari
in Roast

1. If being ugly was a crime you would have a life sentence

2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships

3. There is a tree out there giving you oxegyn, and you owe that tree an apology.

4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.

5. When I saw your dad on the side walk I didn’t laugh but the sidewalk cracked up.

6. If I had powers I would make you the dumbest person alive but it seems life already beat me to the punch.

7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it

8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart I’d be broke.

9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting

10. Were you born on a highway cuz that’s where most accidents happen

11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya

12. Your the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented

HaHa Funny Joke

I was working at the bank today when an old lady came up to me and asked me to check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

Weirdo.

Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually."

little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor

FUNNYKIDSCHOOLJOKES
in Little Johnny

One day at school, Little Johnny and his friends were asked to do a sheet of paper which said, “Put a matching word from the word bank into the slot in the sentence that makes it make sense.” But when the teacher marked Little Johnny's papers, she asked why he put the word bank in every slot. And he says, “Well teacher, you said to put a word from the word Bank and that's one word! So I had no choice but to put down that word!”

Anonymous
in Animal

What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? -- A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.

1
Anonymous

What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws? -- It was given two consecutive sentences.

Judge: We shall now sentence you for the murder of your parents. Accused: Please consider a lenient sentence, your honour. Judge: But why? Accused: Because I’m an orphan.

I_Is_Cow
in Little Johnny

Teacher tests Little Johnny, “OK, Johnny, create a sentence which starts with ‘I’.” Little Johnny confidently starts, “I is...” Teacher snaps, “No, Little Johnny. You must always say, ‘I am’.” Little Johnny sighs, “Yes ma’am. ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’"

2

My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!