Some people think prison is one word…but to robbers it’s a whole sentence

What is a prisoner’s favorite punctuation?

A period.

Why?

Because it marks the end of a sentence.

Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.

I was working at the bank today when an old lady came up to me and asked me to check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

One day Little Johnny’s class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?” Little Mary says, “The teacher is very intelligent.” The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?” Little Suzie says, “They are very fashionable.” The teacher says, “Johnny, why don’t you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence.” Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy ‘Darling how does my dictate’ "

The teacher asked her class to use definitely in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. “The sky is definitely blue.” “Very good Kevin,but the sky can also be blue or black.” the teacher replied. Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him. And picked Annie from the back of the room. “The grass is definitely green.” “Very good Annie, but it can also be brown.” Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally she called on him. “Mines more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?” “Why no Johnny why would you ask such a question?” She questioned. “Well if they don’t have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself.”

What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws? – It was given two consecutive sentences.

What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? – A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.

I was talking to my welsh friend the other day and he suddenly started talking welsh to me then collapsed after the first few sentences. Turns out he had a stroke

The next sentence is telling the truth. The previous sentence is telling a lie.

If being ugly was a crime u would get a life sentence

1 your so dumb you thing Cheerios are donut seeds!

  1. Your so fat you could sell shade!
  2. Your just like coconut water, nobody likes you! 4 you been shopping lately because there selling lives around the corner, you should go get one! If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence !! Are these good

how do you put “blonde” and “duh” in the same sentence? just say " blondes are (duh)mb

Say I’m a man after every sentence You walk into a bar. (I’m a man) You find a girl . ( I’m a man) You take her home.(I’m a man) She whispers in your ear.(I’m a man)

A single sentence walks into a bar.

Finish the sentence

Salt and Vi…

Is Google a girl or a boy?

Obviously a Girl, because it won’t let you finish a sentence without making a suggestion.

Suzy: How did johna fit in the whale? Teacher: Whales are very big but have small moths, so johna did not actually fit in the whale. Suzy: well the bible says he did Teacher: He did not Suzy: when I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven, maybe he went to hell Suzy: Than you can ask him.

You: Say “addicted” after everything I say. Person: Uh okay. You: When you’re obsessed with candy you are…? Person: Addicted. You: When you’re obsessed with drugs you are…? Person: Addicted. You: What hit you in the face last night? Person: Addicted… laughs (It’s supposed to sound like “A dick did”)

How can you tell if google is a girl? It makes suggestions before you finish your sentence

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