A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender replies, "For you? No charge!"
Science Jokes
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head and Shoulders.
If I looked like Stephen Hawking, I would also be an atheist.
Why does Stephen Hawking have the voice of an angel?
Because no one has ever heard an angel talk.
Why is the Moon red today?
The reason why the Moon takes on a reddish color during totality is a phenomenon called Rayleigh scattering. It is the same mechanism responsible for causing colorful sunrises and sunsets, and for the sky to look blue.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite type of basketball?
Dribble.
Why did the doctor check out Earth?
He had a tummy quake.
Why do pills work?
Because they are white.
Geology rocks!
He's dead now.
How did Helen Keller die?
Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it.
Why didn't Neptune marry Saturn?
Because he knew he wasn't hot!
What do you call an old snowman that survived till summer?...
Water... yup, water...
Why did the math book go to the psychologist?
It had too many problems.
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts lolololol hahahahah.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
[Link to YouTube video]
What did the dog say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? "Hey, mitosis!"
What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish?
A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.
Why is the sun lit?
Because it has much solar.
Apparently Steven Hawking was a stand-up kind of guy.
