Science jokes
What is a pedophile's favorite planet?
Uranus.
Stephen Hawking has enough money to stand up, but can’t grab the money.
Why did Steven Hawking go to hell?
Because there is a stairway to heaven.
I tried to catch fog, but I mist.
Who's never the last man standing?
Stephen Hawking.
What's white as snow within 15-25 mins after death and then black and blue and red all over?
A corpse, of course!
If Stephen Hawking got into a fight, he could not stand up for himself.
Why did people bully Steven Hawking?
Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite lunch? Eggs and shoulders.
A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender replies, "For you? No charge!"
Sixteen Sodium particles walk into a bar, followed by Batman.
If I looked like Stephen Hawking, I would also be an atheist.
What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot?
Mitosis!!! (my-toe-sis)
I heard he's doing a revival tour next month. It's called "Stephen Hawking Unplugged."
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head and Shoulders.
Don't trust an atom. They're stupid!
Q: Why did the flat earther become gay?
A: He knows a thing or two about giving dome.
Q: Why did he eventually become asexual?
A: He doesn't believe in anything south of the border.
Why does Stephen Hawking have the voice of an angel?
Because no one has ever heard an angel talk.
Why is the Moon red today?
The reason why the Moon takes on a reddish color during totality is a phenomenon called Rayleigh scattering. It is the same mechanism responsible for causing colorful sunrises and sunsets, and for the sky to look blue.
Why did the doctor check out Earth?
He had a tummy quake.