Science jokes

What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?

Oops!

Confusion life question!!!

* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?

I was with my friend atom the other day. He’s pretty tall . . . Compared to you.

What’s black and at the top of a stair case?

Stephen Hawking during a house fire.

Why did Stephen Hawking die so soon?

Because his misses bought the wrong batteries.

My science teacher was talking about natural selection.

At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.

If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."

There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.

It's a canariel disease, untweetable.

Yo mama so fat, she found the barrier to outer space!

My wife is so fat, she gets weighed on the Richter scale.

I heard helium won the lottery. Turns out, he lied.

Why don't you fight a dinosaur?

You'll get jurasskicked.

I’d tell BlessedBrian to aim for the stars, but it seems like his GRAVITATIONAL PULL is holding him back.

Why can you never trust atoms?

Because they make up everything.

So big that when you step, you break the whole galaxy.

Where do you go when Steve Hawkins dies?

Microsoft.

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite dance move? The worm.

So, Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Wait, he can't.

Have you ever stepped into Steven Hawking's House?

Neither has he.

"BU" is the element of a surprise. Boo!

When Stephen Hawking falls, who does he call, the ambulance or the technician?