Science jokes
If Stephen Hawking was a boxer, he would roll with the punches.
Stephen Hawking is to wheelchairs like Uncle Ben is to rice.
Stephen Hawking was a bit of a hardcase. He didn't let people push him around.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite movie? Cabbage Patch Kids.
What do you call a body without a nose?
Nobody knows.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite line in Rambo?
"Don't push me."
At least he always has a shoulder to cry on.
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?
R. I. P. Roll in Peace.
Uranus is sideways and leaking methane.
Why has nobody been on Neptune? Because the wind is so big. And why the wind's so big? Because Neptune's yelling, "GETT OFFF MMY PPRROOPERRTY!!"
How do you throw a space party?
You plan-et! Hahahaha, get it?
What motorway lane does Stephen Hawking use?
Hard shoulder.
What did the people do to the deceased after tests?
They bari-um.
Why did the robot eat a lightbulb?
'Cause he was in need of a light snack!
I think the pollen count is a difficult job. Especially if you have hay fever.
Why do anions hate each other?
Because they can't handle the negativity!
Love is in the air...
Wrong! Nitrogen, Oxygen, and Carbon Dioxide are in the air!
Stephen Hawking was incredible at poker, he had no tell whatsoever.
Do you love water?
Then you love 75% of me.
Did you hear about Fridgetair
Kelvinator?