Science jokes
At least he always has a shoulder to cry on.
What Stephen Hawking doesn't know about wheelchairs isn't worth knowing.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite movie? Cabbage Patch Kids.
Roberto: Judd, your DNA looks like the infinite symbol.
Judd: Roberto, your DNA looks like a pasta noodle.
What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite food?
His left shoulder.
Memes
Why can't dinosaurs talk?
'Cause they're dead.
Why did the robot eat a lightbulb?
'Cause he was in need of a light snack!
I think the pollen count is a difficult job. Especially if you have hay fever.
Why do anions hate each other?
Because they can't handle the negativity!
What motorway lane does Stephen Hawking use?
Hard shoulder.
Stephen Hawking: like a cross between Nikola Tesla and... a Tesla.
What did the people do to the deceased after tests?
They bari-um.
One day, a chemistry teacher asked his student, whose name is Raj, "What is the chemical formula of water?"
The Raj replied, "HIJKLMNO."
The teacher asked, "What is this rubbish?"
The Raj replied, "Yesterday, you taught the chemical formula of water is H2O."
The DNA told the tailor that he couldn't find his genes.
The DNA told the tailor he couldn't find his genes.
What do you call frozen web?
A web-cicle.
What did the substrate say to the active site?
"C'mon baby, we fit together, open my door lock to f**kin' key."
How do you communicate to the dead?
Jump up and down on the ground and speak in Morse code!
Stephen Hawking was incredible at poker, he had no tell whatsoever.
Do you love water?
Then you love 75% of me.